Back 2 Reality

Wow, another yom hakipourim...

2008-10-09T21:40:00.000-07:00

We all need it to live, we need it to survive.
Torah.
We've just finished the ten days of repentance. Have we repented. Do we feel renewed, reborn, refreshed, as we emerge from yom hakipourim?
We have amazing power now. We hold the power to change, not only ourselves and our futures, but others as well. Everything we do, affects others, including ourselves.
As we get ready for succout, and prepare to dwell with HKB'H, should try to perfect the miztvout that we already spend time doing. Work on our kavanout during tefila, how we talk and react to people, and how careful we are with our words and how we spend our time.
It's the small things that lead to big changes.

May we all be zochei (merit) to continue to grow throughout this year and advance closer to HKB'H with all of our efforts and tefilout.

Moadim B'simcha!

~Sarah Rutti

60 years

2008-08-10T15:22:00.000-07:00

Look how far we've come! We have such amazing potential.

*77

2008-08-03T19:04:00.001-07:00

I knew about the red light on cars, but not the *77.

It was about 1:00 p.m. in the afternoon, and Lauren was driving to visit a friend An UNMARKED police car pulled up behind her and put his lights on. Lauren's parents have always told her never to pull over for an unmarked car on the side of the road, but rather to wait until she got to a gas station, etc.

Lauren had actually listened to her parents advice, and promptly called *77 on her cell phone to tell the police dispatcher that she would not pull over right away. She proceeded to tell the dispatcher that there was an unmarked police car with a flashing red light on his rooftop behind her. The dispatcher checked to see if there were police cars where she was and there weren't, and he told her to keep driving, remain calm and that he had back up already on the way.

Ten minutes later 4 cop cars surrounded her and the unmarked car behind her. One policeman went to her side and the others surrounded the car behind. They pulled the guy from the car and tackled him to the ground. The man was a convicted rapist and wanted for other crimes.

Too bad the cell phone companies don't generally give you this little bit of wonderful information.

*Speaking to a service representative at ** Bell** Mobility confirmed that *77 was a direct link to state trooper info. So, now it's your turn to let your friends know about *77.

Send this to every woman (and person) you know; it may save a life.

This applies to ALL 50 states

15 seconds

2008-07-28T18:56:00.000-07:00

There's a very powerful, 15 second, aish video. Please click on the link. Have a great day.

Ha'kol b'idei shamaim

2008-06-19T08:23:00.000-07:00

The most that you can do is your best. But once that's done you have to put up your hands and say, "Ok HaShem I did my part. Your turn."
Once you've done that the hardest part sets in, bitachon. Hishtadult is done, there's nothing left for you to do.

~Shabbat Shalom.

Swept Away

2008-05-29T18:31:00.000-07:00

The tide draws me in...
and out to sea again...

Life is full of change.
Most of it comes unexpected, unprepared for, and even when it is anticipated, the shock of it can numb you.
Like the horizon, you're drawn out toward it, you long and wait for it to come and take you, but then when it does you try to scramble back on dry land.

Why?

Because the dry land is familiar.
The sea is full of creatures. But what's worse is that the sea is driven by tides. We are pulled along. We control nothing but how we interact with it.

We can either repel it or embrace it.

We will be tossed, we will be turned, over and over and over. But we will come out alive, we will come out whole. There is nothing in the ocean that will consume us. Nothing can touch us for the good or the bad, except HaShem.

In the end the tide will calm. The ocean will bring us to a new beach. We will resettle on different dry land, which will soon become familiar. Life will resume.

When we look back on the ocean we will see the growth that brought us to were stand.

The tide draws me in...
and out to sea again...

Twisting Metal

2008-05-22T16:10:00.000-07:00

The way the world works
is unknown.
As much as we try to
we will never fully understand.

Bitchon
He has gotten us this far,
only to continue further.

HaShem cares about all of us in a way that we cannot fathom. He is constantly checking over all of the details, the little 'coincidences', to make sure that we experience only our best! Everything that we go through is supposed to help us grow and change for the better.

While He works out the details, we need to do hishtadlut. We need to try our best to do what we can, and to invest our energies in things that we think are for our best. We need to constantly asses our situation and deduce what we can do to continue to grow closer to Him.

When we do our part, knowing that He'll do the rest, then we can 'rest assured' that He will 'twist metal' to help us.

HaShem loves us.
He's gotten us this far.
He'll get us through the rest.

Bitachon

Warning

2008-04-28T16:14:00.000-07:00

I don't know how many people actually read my blog regularly, but, to those of you who do, I wanted to warn. I will be very busy for the next three weeks, and might not have the time to sit and post on my blog(s). I apologize in advance. I will try to keep the string of Torah thought flowing, but I might now succeed.
So, in advance, I'm sorry.
I hope you all have a great next three weeks! Thanks for your patience.

~Sarah Rutti

T'was the night of the Geulah

2008-04-23T23:23:00.000-07:00

I first read this in grade 8, thank you Tzivia.

Recently Sara N sent it to me, and I felt like it was a reminder.

I hope you enjoy it, and that it helps up to be zochei geula:

***

T'was the night of the Geulah, and in every single Shtiebel,

Sounds of Torah could be heard, coming from every kind of Yeedel.

This one in English, some in Hebrew, some in Yiddish.

Some saying P'shat, and some saying a Chiddish.

And up in Shamayim, the Aibishter decreed:

"The time has come, for My children to be freed.

"Rouse the Moshiach, from his heavenly berth.

Have him get in his chariot, and head down to earth.

"The Moshiach got dressed, and with a heart full of glee,

Went down to earth and entered, the first Shtiebel he did see.

"I am the Moshiach!, Hashem has heard your plea!

Your Geulah has come!, It's time to go free!

They all stopped their learning; This was quite a surprise.

And they look at him carefully, with piercing sharp eyes.

"He's not the Moshiach!" said one with a grin,

"Just look at his hat, at the pinches and brim!"

"That's right!" cried another, with a grimace and frown,

"Whoever heard of Moshiach, with a brim that's turned down?"

"Well," thought Moshiach, "If this is the rule,

I'll turn my brim up, before I go to the next shul."

So he walked right on over, to the next shul in town.

Sure to be accepted, since his brim was no longer down.

"I'm, the Moshiach!" he cried, as he began to enter

But the Jews wanted to know first, if he was Left Right or Center.

"Your clothes are so black!", They cried out in fright.

"You can't be Moshiach, you're much too far right!"

"If you want to be Moshiach, you must be properly outfitted.”

So they replaced his black hat, with a Kippah that was knitted.

Wearing his new Kippah, Moshiach went out and said:

"No difference to me, what I wear on my head.”

So he went to the next shul, for his mission was dear.

But he was getting frustrated, with the Yidden down hear.

"I'm the Moshiach!" he cried, and they all stopped to stare,

And a complete eerie stillness, filled up the air.

"You're the Moshiach?!, Just imagine that!

Whoever heard of Moshiach, without a black hat?"

"But I do have a hat!", The Moshiach then said.

So he pulled it right out, and plunked it down on his head.

Then the shul started laughing, and one said “Where's your kop?

You can't have Moshiach, with a brim that's turned up!

If you want to be Moshiach, and be accepted in this town,

Put some pinches in your hat, and turn that brim down!"

Moshiach walked out and said: "I guess my time hasn't come.

I'll just return, to where I came from.”

So he went to his chariot, but as he began to enter,

All sorts of Jews appeared, from the Left, Right, and Center.

"Please wait - do not leave. It's all their fault!" they said,

And they pointed to each other, and to what was on each other's head.

Moshiach just looked sad, and said, " You don't understand."

And then started up his chariot, to get out of this land.

"Yes, it's very wonderful, that you all learn Torah,

But you seem to have forgotten, a crucial part of our Mesorah.”

"What does he mean?", "What's he talking about?"

And they all looked bewildered, and they all began to shout.

Moshiach looked back and answered, "The first place to start,

Is to shut up your mouths, and open your hearts.

To each of you, certain Yidden, seem too Frum or too Frei,

But all Yidden are beloved, in the Aibishter's eye."

And on his way up he shouted: "If you want me to come,

Try working a little harder, on some Ahavas Chinam!"

Boruch Dayan Ha'Emet

2008-04-15T20:05:00.000-07:00

I am sad to announce that Horav Hagaon Rav Henoch Leibowitz, zecher tzaddik l'vrocha, was niftar today.

I can't think of anything else to say, but I"ll go cry for now.

Sarah Rutti,

P.S. We've lost a gadul, a link to the past.

One more to go

2008-04-11T09:12:00.000-07:00

It is erev shabbat and we are about to enter the second to last shabbat before pessach. Are we ready? Have we prepared? I'm not referring to the many hours spent on cleaning and purchasing kosher l'pessach items.

I'm talking about our neshama.

Pessach is more then just cleaning, it's a chag that demands us to take in inner look at our middot and at the way we serve HaShem. These are not new concepts, but reminders are always helpful. We learn from matzah, for example, that we should not be haughty and 'puffed up'. Additionally, we know that we should have zerizut when preforming mitzvout and not let them 'sit in our hand' of an extended period of time, become 'chametz'.

Again, non of these are new or astounding, but have we thought about them recently? When pessach cleaning have we reflected and checked every crevise of out heart and soul for 'leven' emotions and actions? While doing the physical actions of cleaning for pessach we need to look within and do the spiritual cleaning as well.

As a random thought, I'd like to share with you a recollection that I had yesterday:

The situation was as such: I had purchased two skirts for pessach, but they were too short on me (being tall isn't always so great). But, being in Vancouver and desperate for new skirts, I decided to purchase them and then alter them myself at home, making them longer by adding to the top.

So, I started the altering processes yesterday and thought I could finish one of the skirts in a day. However, I was using my own made up pattern and had no instructions, besides for my wise Ima, so it took longer then expected. A few times, even, I had to take apart what I had just sewn and put on the again, in a different way.

Throughout this whole process I was listening to two shirs from Rabbi Shaifer (theshmuz) and listening to music.

Now, this was a very stressful endeavor. So, anytime I would start the machine I would say, "l'chavod yom tov," and this kept me calm.

To make a long story short: after listening to more then 2 hours of shirim, and 4 hours of music, the skirt wasn't finished. But I had learned a lesson (if not more).

HOUSE WORK CAN BE STRESSFUL.

By the end I turned to my Ima, who has so much more patience with these types of things, and said, "Now I understand why HaShem made women to do house work."

What did I mean? Yes, it was tiring, yes it was tedious, but I had grown through the process. The physical action of making a skirt had caused me to practice patience and bitachon.

How?

While committing the enterprise, I was constantly reminded of my own limitations. Here I was, with high hopes in my own physical capabilities, to alter a skirt in an afternoon, and "presto chango" I was being defied by a machine, and made to realize that I'm can't do it so easily.
(Not to say that I've given up it's just taking more time then expected).

How does this relate to what I was saying before?

Cleaning for pessach is no mundane action. It's an opportunity to get closer to HaShem, to reflect on our middot and to make sure that they're still in check, not high and haughty.

Chag kasher v'samayach.

Chodesh Tov

2008-04-06T11:38:00.000-07:00

It's that time of the month!
Chodesh Tov!
I hope that everyone had a great shabbat! Now that we have entered the chodesh of Nissan, may we be zochei to see geula! B"H, we'll grab the coach of this month to develop our ahavat Yisroel and strengthen our achdut.

I wish you all the best! May out tefilot be answered l'tova.

Kol Tov

~Sarah Rut

Man Plans... G-D Laughs

2008-04-03T09:56:00.000-07:00

Many times we forget that we're not in control.
It is then that we get frustrated with things 'not working out,'
because they haven't gone according to plane.
We assume that we know best.
We think that we are the directors.
Little do we know,
little do we understand.

For the record,
we are not the master plans of our own life.
Yes, we do hishtadlot,
Yes we make decisions.
But for the most part,
we don't really know what's best.

Patience,
we have to wait it out.
After making the decisions, and doing hishtadlot,
there's nothing else to do but sit tight,
and wait.

But while we are waiting,
we need to stay in touch with the Borei Olam.
He needs to hear our tefilot,
our cry.
For,
that's the whole point of waiting.
We need to show Him that we recognize that we're not in control.
We need to prove to Him that we have bitachon and emunah in His final decision.

On that note,
may HaShem continue to give us the strength we need,
to overcome the difficulties in life,
and the patience to wait
and rely on Him.

Shabbat Shalom
Sarah Rutti

Snow! ?

2008-03-28T09:28:00.000-07:00

Ok, don't et me wrong, I like every season, in its time. But snow in the middle of March, sorry, late March, is not what I enjoy. I feel like my spring and fall have been ripped away! :-( And they're my favorite seasons....

Well, it is snowing here, yes that's right, up north in Vancouver. We'll see what the weekend brings.
Kol Tov
Shabbat Shalom.

P.S: It's my bat mitzvah parsha this week, parshat shemini. This parsha reveals HKB"H wisdom and infinite knowledge, duh He created the world. There is a list of all of the kosher animals, and animals that we MIGHT think are kosher, but aren't. B"H, He's guiding us and helping us!
Ok, sorry that I'm not elaborating, I'm in a rush. Let me know if I'm not making any sense.

Do you use a Mr. Potato Head?

2008-03-24T22:40:00.000-07:00

I heard a GREAT shiur on "Finding and Keeping Your Bashert"
I recommend it to everyone.
Rabbi Shiefer has a great sense of humour and is very articulate. I find him clear and very easy to chap. I hope you enjoy this shiur.

There are no coincidences.

2008-03-20T23:14:00.000-07:00

We learn from Magilat Ester that everything is ordained by HKB"H, even if we can't see or appreciate it. Furthermore, everything is for the ultimate good.
May we be yotzei all of the mitzvot of purim and continue to grow closer to HKB"H, knowing that He ALWAYS has our best interest in mind.
Purim Samayach!

~ Sarah Rutti

P.S, it's raining outside! I love the sound of the raindrops hitting the floor and puddles. B"H!

Taanit Ester

2008-03-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

Firstly, I want to recommend Aish.com's purim section, and one of their short clips called Behind the Mask, by Rabbi Zeldman

Secondly, I'd like to summarize an article about taanit ester. In this article, Rabbi Simmons mentions that taanit ester is a pre-war fast. Ester and banei Yisroel fasted to prepare themselves to meet with Achashverosh and to prepare themselves to fight against Hamman's decree.

What does fasting accomplish? On the day before a war, wouldn't you prepare your artillery and do other things to insure that you'd be strong for the fight? Why would you tell your soldiers to fast?

The reason, brings down Rabbi Simmons, is to remind us that we aren't strong and have no chance of winning without HaShem's help. We fast and remind ourselves of our physical restrictions and dependence on HKB'H.

The constant gnawing of hunger should act as a reminder to ourselves that HaShem runs the world and gives us strength.

May we be zochei to take this reminder and use our kaoch hatefillah to unite Am Yisroel and be zochei geulah.

Kol Tov

It's coming!

2008-03-16T22:34:00.000-07:00

I want to wish us all a chag samayach,
in case I forget later.
B"H, we should be yotei all of the mitzvout of purim.

B"H, we should have a meaningful fast on Thursday.

Kol Tov

Peeka -a-boo

2008-03-16T22:27:00.000-07:00

We are being watched.
But don't be frightened.
HaShem is taking care of us.

Have a great week.

2008-03-12T17:49:00.000-07:00

Next thurday night is purim! B"H, we'll be matzliach in being yotzei all of the mitzvot. I just thought I"d remind everyone about the upcoming chag. I know it's hard to stop when tests and hw are calling, but we can do it! B"H, this year I have no school on purim, it's a stat. holiday.

Ok, be well.

Living and Breathing

2008-03-09T15:21:00.001-07:00

Unfortunately,
sometime we need to brave the waters for ourselves,
without knowing where the sharks live.

But,
no mater where we are or what happens,
HaShem will always be there,
watching and holding us.

Rosh Chodesh Adar Bet

2008-03-06T22:47:00.000-08:00

Rosh Chodesh Adar! It's here. Besides for it being me Hebrew birthday on the 19th (:-D) it's going to be purim in about 15 days!

So excited, mishe mishe mishe mishe, .....

I wanted to share a thought, and a great point, that I deduced from and article written by an SFU student, Kristen McCathy.

She was in the downtown east side, otherwise known as 'crack town' and gave a loonie (dollar) to a homeless man on the street. She comments, on reflection, that the money was given for her not for the poor man.

How did she reach this conclusion? She asked herself, how far will that money go? What can a dollar buy? NOTHING> not even a bottle of water. (Well, maybe half of a big mac.)

If she was giving money to help the man, then she would have at least given him a $5, something that can buy a meal down there.

But she was giving to make HERSELF feel better, and so she admits.

What can we learn from this?

I think it's pretty clear.

Especially now, when we're getting our mishloach manot ready, we need to remember to spend more $$ on matanot l'evyonim.

We need to open our hands for others, not for ourselves. To help them, not just to make ourselves feel 'good.'

We should be matzliach in using these mitzvout of the month to inspire growth in achdut (unity) amongst klal Yisroel. Thus, bring gaula (redemption) and turning yom kiPURIM into PURIM.

Shabbat Shalom,
Kol Tov.

Rabbi Lau

2008-02-28T23:32:00.000-08:00

B"H, I was fortunate to hear the former chief rabbi of Israel speak tonight. I want to share an amazing mashal with you:

The sun and the wind were having a fight. They didn't know who was the strongest. In order to test their strengths, they decided to see which one could make a little man remove his coat.

The wind went first. It started blowing and blowing. But the harder it blew, the harder the man clung to his coat, realizing that without it he's freeze. The wind kept blowing to the point where the man was rolling like a ball, clutching tightly to his coat. The wind gave up.

Next came the sun. He approached the man slowly, with warmth and compassion. Soon the man felt very warm and started sweating. The man realized that he no longer needed his coat, as the temperature continued to rise, and removed it on his own free will.

The sun won.

The coat is out emuna in HaShem and out connection to Him.

In the past, the wind came with bitterness, harshness, the destruction of the batei migdashing. Yet, benei Yisroel stuck to their Creator, Hakadosh Barchu. They knew that without it they would be lost, they would freeze.

But then came the sun. With warmth, compassion, encouraging us to assimilate. The sun smiles upon us. Will we take off out coat willingly? No one is stopping us from doing mitzvout, no one but ourselves.

B"H, we will NOT abandon our coats, but stick close to our Torah and emuna. B"H, we should be matzliach in increasing our avodat haShem.

Kol tov,
Shabbat Shalom.

"Those thoughts"

2008-02-27T09:47:00.000-08:00

I was reading an article in the Jan 2nd, 190th issue of Mishpacha magazine. It's written by Toby Bulman Katz. She writes about the Schwab's experience with their daughter, Ruchama Aliza Sarah Chana bat Ester Liba, who is in a comma.

This article struck my interest particularly because I know the family. They used to live in Cincinnati. I remember when Ester was pregnant with Ruchama Aliza Sarah Chana and her twin brother.

The article quotes Rabbi Naoch Orlowek. He made a personal call to the Moshe Schwab and told him, "Don't think 'those thoughts.' " The thoughts of could've, would've, should've. He explained that they show a lack of emuna in HaShem.

Everything is in His hands. Things happen because He wants them to.

So, when we look back over the days, weeks, months, and years of our lives, while acknowledging the mistakes and growing from them, we shouldn't have 'those thoughts.' Yes we need to move forward and perfect our actions as servants of HaShem. We can't change the past by dwelling on it and become depressed over it.

B'ezrat HaShem we will see a refuah shaleam in Ruchama Alia Sarah Chana's continued recovery. The Schwabs have sailed through many storms and have come out as an inspiration for all of us.

I"H, we will take these lessons and use them to retain a higher level of achdut among Kallal Yisroel, a higher level of emunat HaShem and chachamim, and a higher level of tefilla (our ultimate power).

Kol Tov

Parshat Ki Sisa

2008-02-21T17:37:00.000-08:00

After reading a short vort on Parshat Ki Sisa, from TheShmuz.com, I would like to share the idea presented:

We see that Bnei Yisroel succumb to the sin of cheit haeigle. Even though we were on a very high level, having seen all the maacot, the yam suf's splitting, and hearing the dibrot from HaShem, they were still drawn by the the gleam of gold and sliver, the sparkle of gaava.

Kal vechomer, when thinking about us NOW and our present level, we can tremble to think of the taava that we have toward this same gleam.

We must stand on guard and realize and recognize that it is a source of taava.
We should be matzliach in recognizing our tests and pass them with flying colours, or get up and try again.

Shabbat Shalom.

Purim Kattan

2008-02-20T08:26:00.000-08:00

This was sent to me, I'm sending this on...

WEDNESDAY FEB 20 THE POWER OF PRAYER ON PURIM KOTTON

I heard this week an unbelievable speech from Rav Avraham Schorr Shlita about the power of prayer on Purim Kotton.

THERE IS A MISHNA IN MEGILLAH THAT SAYS "EIN BAIN ADAR RISHON L'ADAR SHENIE ELE KRIAS MEGILLAH UMATONAS LEVYONIM BILVAD"; THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE FIRST ADAR AND THE SECOND ADAR ONLY THAT YOU CAN NOT DO YOUR OBLIGATION OF READING MEGILLAH AND PRESENTS FOR THE POOR.

THE POWER OF PRAYER REMAINS EXACTLY THE SAME;

SO HERE WE HAVE A DAY THAT HAS THE TREMENDOUS POWER OF PRAYER.

LET US USE THIS WEDNESDAY TO DAVEN TO H-ASHEM FOR ALL THE RIGHT THINGS, KLAL YISROEL IS LIVING THROUGH DIFFICULT TIMES AND THERE ARE MANY THINGS TO DAVEN FOR...WE SHOULD BE ALL BE ZOCHE TO SEE MOSHIACH BMIHERA BYOMEINU.

THIS SHOULD BE A ZECHUS FOR THE NESHAMA OF MOSHE DOVID BEN PINCHUS DOV, HIS NESHAMA SHOULD HAVE AN ALIYA.

Boredom

2008-02-19T21:56:00.000-08:00

The world really excites and interests me,
I guess I'm not cool.
Sorry, folks.
Will you still be my friend.

Accepted...but not to where I want to go.

2008-02-18T22:12:00.001-08:00

I've been officially 'offered acceptance' by UBC, Vancouver. Though I really want to go to York, Toronto, and am still waiting for their reply, it was nice to feel 'wanted.'

Hopefully I'll be able to send UBC a letter of 'dejection' thanking them for their generous offer and consideration. I'll keep you posted.

I must say, the colour photos on the envelope, folder, and brochure are very stylish and enticing ;-)

Buried Treasure

2008-02-18T16:14:00.000-08:00

Some people spend all there time look on the OUTSIDE, and they miss what's on the INSIDE.

'Bling, bling' and buried treasure can be found out there. But the best kind of treasure that you'll ever find was given to you at birth. If you work on yourself and reach out to others, you can help to polish that treasure and let it shine through.

(I apologize for the tackiness.)

Photo source.

Yeah!

2008-02-14T22:04:00.000-08:00

I've officially sent in my application of graduation.

Let me explain. I received a notice from my college recognizing that I have filled out the requirements for a Arts and Science Diploma. Regardless of the fact that I plan on finishing my BA in English and BeD, this credential is a nice piece of paper that looks good. So, I've applied for it.

Though I won't be attending the graduation ceremony, and I really have two more years (at least) to go, this half way mark is really motivating.

So, YEAH!

Scary Analogy

2008-02-13T10:18:00.000-08:00

When you say things freaquently, you devalue your statements. Like saying, "I love you," to everyone, or offering hugs all of the time. This increase in production can cause inflation, thereby decreasing the value of the "love" and/or hug.

Just a thought.

Source of Frustration

2008-02-10T16:26:00.000-08:00

While contemplating life (lol) I thought of this brilliant (humbling eh?) connection:

Frustration is bred from disappointment, which comes from missed expectations. When the goals are set too high, the actions fall short.

In other words, try to be as realistic as possible.

It is ALMOST impossible to do this, we tend to "shoot for the moon." But we can try, and thus spare ourselves the frustration.

Have a happy day/week/month/year/life :-D

Sorry about my absence

2008-02-10T09:37:00.000-08:00

I've been drowning lately, in physical and intellectual pain. Between pulling leg, and hand, muscles, I've been trying to get homework done. Enough said. Sorry

Hummmmm... this is starting to get fishy

2008-02-01T10:08:00.000-08:00

My history proff cancelled class for the second friday in a row. Mind you, I'm not complaining, it's just weird. I feel bad becuase I ditched yesterday's class to do research for my history report (due on the 18th!) Since I had a snow day on tuesday, and have no school on wed., I only attended one class this week. Oh well, I don't like his lectures anyway...

Well, I thought that I'd share with y'all. Thanks for droppning by.

Shabbat Shalom.

~Sarah Rutti

Don't get stuck!

2008-01-31T21:09:00.001-08:00

Everything we do adds up for the good and for the bad.

Here's a cute 3 minute film by Aish.com. There's a good mashal in it. Have a great shabbat!

Just keeps getting better.

2008-01-31T13:51:00.000-08:00

Ignoring the fact that I spent the whole day in bed yesterday, I'm having a great week. I recieved a present from my college on Tuesday in the form of a snow day. I took this gift as an expression of their appreciation for the tuition I pay. Additionally, mon examen de francais has been postpond until Lundi! What could be better.

So, I'd like to spread my joy and wish everyone a great shabbat.
I'm off to do more history research. I figured that if I ditch my history class to do history research, I'm ok. Anyooo... thanks for stopping in.

~ Sarah Rutti

Only in Vancouver...

2008-01-29T07:38:00.000-08:00

I did not take this picture

"SNOW CLOSURE UPDATE: Tuesday, January 29, 2008, 7:15 am

Langara College is closed for daytime classes due to snow.

Online registration is available as scheduled. All Credit Studies classes are cancelled. College services are not available. Listen to radio stations CKNW (980 AM) or CBC (690 AM) for future updates. The Langara College website homepage is updated regularly."

"So, how much snow has fallen?" you might ask? Well, as of now, 7:47 am, from my window it looks like 5 centimeters. I don't know why this has scared off my professors, and honestly don't care. I'm excited to take advantage of this opportunity, B"H, and come up to date on hw!

BUT! I'm letting anyone, unless they ask. I DON"T have time to babysit and can think of 3 people who would ask for help. I'm already babysitting from ~ 6:30 pm - 10:00 pm.

Well, I'll keep you posted. Have a great day!

~Sarah Rutti

P.S. The only down side is shoveling.....

Wow, Maybe I'm Doing Too Much!

2008-01-28T23:35:00.000-08:00

I didn't realize how crazy this semester was going to be when I signed up for all of my courses. But now I'm feeling it. Every one of my five classes requires constant work and effort. This is causing a conflict in my time managment. Econ is taking more time then français!

Some things are going to have to start sliding. Sleep has been the first. Last night I went to sleep after 1 am, and woke up at 8 am, not soo bad.

I'm going to start being more selective with the materials I spend time on. English Lit. has too much reading involved, I don't have time for it all....

We'll see how it goes. B"H, I'll be able to pull it all together. I'm trying not to think about the fact that I have a history research paper due on the 28th... at least I've picked my topic and sources...
Right?

Be well

~ Sarah Rutti

Pulling Back

2008-01-25T10:11:00.001-08:00

This week has been really hard. I've felt the tug a lot harder then usual. I hope I passed.

I'm reaching out now to all of my friends.

Being alone Vancouver has gotten harder over the past 6 months. I need to start learning more Torah and talking to you guys. The problem is, I don't have time.

I feel consumed by homework and other responsibilities. Arrggg.

B"H for shabbat! I'm gonna embrace my neshama yesera and try to climb as high as I can. I wish you all a brach, that you're able to enhance yourself this shabbat!

Be well and stay in touch!

History's Cancelled

2008-01-25T10:06:00.000-08:00

I feel like HaShem just sent me the biggest present! I really didn't want to go to history today and guess what, it's cancelled! YEAH!

(I hope he's ok :S)

Have a great weekend Y'all!

Slow But Steady Wins the Race

2008-01-23T19:51:00.000-08:00

Yes that's right! We can do it if we're persistent and stubborn. Just keep trying and before you know it you'll be ahead! Keep up the great work y'all!

....beep....beep....beep....beep...

2008-01-22T19:14:00.000-08:00

...BEEP!...

"You have reached the personal voice mail of,..., I'm sorry I missed your call. Please leave a message after the beep and I'll try to get back to as soon as possible. Thank you and have a great day!" ...Beep!....

It's true, I'm busy.

But, other than that, it was tu b'shvat today! I hope that everyone was able to eat yummy fruit, not from aretz Israel as it's shmita year, and learn. I've already written on this topic, see my previous post.

Otherwise, have a great night! I hope that everyone who's off from school is having a blast. For the rest of us, hold in there!

~Sarah Rutti

Lo Aleinu

2008-01-20T18:02:00.000-08:00

I've just heard that Rav Noach Wineberg has been diagnosed with a brain tumor. Please daven for him, his name is Harav Yisroel Noach ben Ayala Hinda.

Thank you.

Brace Yourself

2008-01-20T16:35:00.000-08:00

I will not bend

I will not break

I will conquer

At least that's what I hope.

I've been up to my neck in homework for the past few days, and I still have more to do :-( I didn't accomplish everything, yet. Things are taking longer then I thought they would, and I keep finding myself hoping for the day when I'll have a little time to myself. Well, as least I enjoy reading Pride and Prejudice, it could be worse.

So, off I go to do my french homework. I'm still stuck on my economics, and have asked for an extension due to me oral surgery, we're hoping... and if not, that's fine too. I'll make the time and get it done. So, since I still have a high pile of textbooks on my bed, waiting for me, I'll be off.

Have a great weekend, don't get too blown away.

Thank you

2008-01-16T22:00:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to publicly thank all of my supporters, who have helped my through this recovery of wisdom teeth extraction and, therefore, missed school work.

I am busy and crazy, and crazy busy. I'm sorry that I haven't been very attentive to this blog, or others, for the beginning of the week. I'm probably not going to have time to post until the weekend.

So have a great one!

~ Sarah Rutti

Feeling Swamped

2008-01-10T19:05:00.000-08:00

So, now that I've officially missed two days of school, mind you this is only the first week of the semester, I feel overwhelmed by the amount of homework that my professors have decided to distribute in class. I was notified on Monday that I have an english essay due in the beginning of Feb and a history paper due in the middle of Feb. Furthermore, I have a french dictation on Monday, and a rough draft to some assignment in creative writing due on Tuesday. Being that I only have creative writing twice a week, Tues and Thurs, I've missed the first two classes. My teach has been very helpful, however, and has left the handouts on her door.

None the less, I feel a little overwhelmed. I wish that I could have used this time to think and read more. But the medication simply won't comply to my wishes. Instead of spending my day doing French hw and reading up on Modern European history, I've spent my time sleeping and reading Pride and Prejudice, though that is part of my hw as well.

Ok, though I haven't accomplished anything through this rant of annoyance, I do feel better.

I wish you all a great night and weekend. I hope to report back to you in better cheer, as soon as possible.

Thanks for listening.

Sarah Rutti

Thank goodness...

2008-01-08T21:53:00.000-08:00

I'm relieved to report that I'm not TOO addicted to blogging. My addiction to facebook is something else to scowl at though :-(

48%

After the surgery...

2008-01-08T21:24:00.000-08:00

The surgery was quick and painless. I was told that they removed my three impacted teeth by cutting them to pieces. I vaguely remember asking to see them right after I woke us, but I couldn't distinguish them as teeth, due to the blood and fragment sizes. I've spent the day reading and sleeping. (At least I got some english homework done, Pride and Prejudice here I come.) After the pain killers kicked in, the pain subsided to a tolerable level.

I haven't been able to talk much, because talking opens up the three cuts. So, I've decided to take advantage my blog as a form of communication.

It was rosh chodesh Shevat today, though I didn't feel it much, I'd like to write something to enlighten my, and hopefully your, month:

We have entered the month of Shevat and on the 15th of this month is the birthday of the trees, known as tu b'shevat. We know that Man is compared to a tree, "A person is like the tree of a field..." (Deut. 20:19) As well as the Torah, "Torah is a tree of life for all who grasp it." (Proverbs 3:18) In the article 'Man is a Tree' by Rabbi Simmons, found on Aish.com.

It is explained in the article that just like a tree needs all of the four elements to survive, so too does a man. With out embellishing, you can always read the article, I'd like to point out that there's a reason why HaShem put us in this world when its creation was complete. As we know, Adam was the last creation so be created, and he, therefore, entered Gan Eden when is was basically complete. Interestingly, Adam had to pray for rain before it came, and he named the animals. He was here to take care of the land and use it for good. This teaches us that the world is here to serve us and we are here to take care of it.

In life in general, we are meant to take what HaShem gives us and use it to serve Him. This idea is applicable in all type of situations, difficult or not. Let us take this reminder from chodesh Shevat and not only safeguard the world we live in but use it to serve HaShem in the happiest way possible.

Have a great day!

I know it's late but...

2008-01-04T09:54:00.000-08:00

Parshat Va'eira

(Inspired by Aish.com, Rabbi Aba Wagensberg's article.)

Rabbi Wagensberg begins with a questions: There are four different expressions of redemption mentioned in this week's parsha, 6: 6-7. He goes on to anwser that each expression is another form of redemption that the Jewish people had to go through in order to be fully separated from the Mitzrim, and become Am Yisroel. He quotes one of the Nevitot Shalom's mepharshim regarding this week's parsha:

"The Jewish people in Egypt had fallen to the lowest possible spiritual level. The Midrash (Socher Tov on Psalms 114) compares the enslaved Jewish nation to a fetus within the womb of an impure animal, based on the verse, "...to take for Himself a nation from amidst a nation" (Deut. 4:34). The Jewish people were living "inside" the Egyptians. Their identity was completely meshed with the corruption and immorality of Egyptian society.

According to the Netivot Shalom, since the situation was so severe, the first stage of redemption was for the Jews to be taken out from the darkness and impurity of their surrounding culture. Nevertheless, they were still slaves to their inner drive toward negativity (yetzer hara). The second stage, then, was to be saved from this servitude. The slave mentality cannot be so easily eradicated, however; even after being saved, the Jewish people were still subjugated to the side of negativity. It was this subjugation from which God redeemed the Jews. The final stage of redemption was for God to take the Jews as His nation."

So what does this mean for us personally, as we live amongst the nations and try to attain our identity?

Rabbi Wagensberg continues in his article by explaining the process of separation that the Jewish people went through in order to leave Mitzriam. This process can be applied to our own personal situations.

It must be remebered that we are a people with a unique mission and with many strengths. We have cochout that need to be utilized. The best way to do this is by clinging to HaShem and His mitzvout. As the Nesivat Shalom points out, we need to be SEPARATE! We are not the same as the others. We have to retain out identity as Hakadosh Baruchu's Am!

We should not be confused and try to look and act like the others.

I know that this point is hard for some to swallow, but it is true. There is a reason for tznius and all the mitzvout that we sould be doing the best of our individual abilities. Growth is a must, one should never stay in the same place for too long.

We should all be zochei to grow at the right pace and remain distinct and unique in our speacial way. Hakadosh Baruchu should help us to see clearly how we should act, in order for us to be the best yiddim that we can be.

Have a great shabbat!

~Sarah Rutti.

Shabbat Was GREAT!

2007-12-30T11:29:00.000-08:00

Thank you everyone for all of your comments! I'm having a great vaca and thinking about those of you who are at work and hoping that the other vacationers are having fun too! I really hope to go out with IMA today and have some fun. I wish you all well. Enjoy the sun, be careful for black ice though.

Starbucks Adventure

2007-12-25T22:02:00.000-08:00

Ima and I went out together to Starbucks today. We sat there quietly knitting and crocheting. We had a lot of fun.

Gonna Do It Right

2007-12-25T18:00:00.000-08:00

So, tomorrow is boxing day. For the first time in my life I plan on waking up early, like 6:30-7:00am, and heading over to Metrotown for some action. I've never experienced boxing day, usually I cower away in my home. But after boring myself all through Dec 25th, I've decided that I'm ready to feel the rush of the crowd (finally things are open.)

My goals are to buy new shabbat shoes and maybe a few winter tops. B"H, I'll be matzliach. I'm not running into any of the stores that are opening at 6:30am and having first come first serve craziness. I do want to be in the mall between 8:00- 8:30am, so that I can HOPE to beet the REALLY busy crowd.

We'll see how it goes. I'm not going to splurge, but to invest in tznius clothing for shabbat and chol.

I want to wish everyone a great vacation! Have a great night, or day, and keep smiling.

All the best.

Sarah Rutti

Mission Completed.

2007-12-23T22:07:00.000-08:00

I've successfully transformed two pairs of pants into two skirts.

Here are the profits:

On another note. I'm thoroughly enjoying my time off. B"H, tomorrow I"m going snow tubing with the Meltzers, Mizrachis, Acocas and Pachts. B"H I'll be able to take pictures and post some. Otherwise, have a great night/day.

Opps, I forgot...

2007-12-19T16:48:00.000-08:00

My Ima made the dress.. hand sown.

Maira Pacht and I

Kalla and Chatan

I forgot to mention that I went to a wedding sunday night and then sheva brachot monday night and now tonight. here are some pics from the events.

Busy, busy, busy

2007-12-19T16:38:00.000-08:00

As you can see from my lack of posts, I've been very busy since I go off of school. I start working full time almost immediately. So, I won't really bee myself, or available, until shabbat. Sorry about the hold up. There are a lot of things that I had planed of taking care of by now... but they're gonna have to wait. Take care everyone.

Have an easy fast, those of you who are still in it. I have 15 minutes to go.

Free from school

2007-12-12T12:35:00.000-08:00

Today I embark on a new journey one away from school. This voyage will take a whole of three weeks. When I return I will be revived and refreshed and ready to start another semester! Oh YEAH! Until then, it's time to kick back, relax, and start sewing. All the best! I'll be in touch.

Rosh Chodesh Tevet

2007-12-10T09:51:00.000-08:00

Rosh Chodesh rises once again.

This is one of the mitzvout that the yivanim forbade us to keep. Ironically, there is always a rosh chodesh during chanuka, specifically on the 6th night, that remains as a taunt to the yivanim, and everyone else, that Banei Yisroel will always be around preforming HaShem's mitzvout.

I see it as a promise, clear as the moon in a vacant sky, from HaShem. This rosh chodesh stands with us, like all the other mizvout, for eternity. We are here, and we are going to keep the Torah and work on ourselves to be the best ovdei HaShem that we can be.

Specifically for women, this chag and day remains as reminders of the strength that we hold within us. Countless times, it was the women who stood up for the truth and clung to the Torah. It is for these characteristics that we, as women, were given rosh chodesh as our zeman and time.

(With that said I really don't feel like studying on rosh chodesh :-( Too bad I have a final after shekia :-S)

So, enjoy this rosh chodesh and 6th day of chanuka. Use it to better yourself and the people around you, as the women before you have in their generations. May we all realize our kochot and use them for the good of ourselves and others.

Keep strong! Keep straight!

Sarah Rut

Sick of studying francais...

2007-12-09T12:31:00.001-08:00

Ok, I've spent so much time of francais during this semester that I really don't feel like applying anymore energy into the course. :-S The frustrating part is that I know I have to study, because repetition is a must in languages. But I"m so tired to writing and repetition phrases and vocabulary!

Anyway, shabbat was great and I really enjoyed the serenity! I hope all of you are doing great in what every you're doing! Have a great week!

Stay tunned for rosh chodesh tomorrow~!

I can see the light and the end of the tunnel... or are those headlights?

2007-12-07T14:42:00.001-08:00

Three down, two to go! Oh YEAH! I'm so excited to get this over and done with!

one down, four to go...

2007-12-06T19:24:00.000-08:00

Yeah! me, four more to go. The next two are tomorrow starting 8:30am and then at 11:00am

Chanuka...don't eat too much ;-P

2007-12-05T16:25:00.000-08:00

I need inspiration. What should we be focusing on during chanukah?
Bitachon?

Comments appreciated.

The snow has turned to rain

2007-12-03T10:05:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately, the precipitation in Vancouver has turned to rain over the past 14 hours. So, instead of having snow falling from the sky in a continuous blanket, we've been receiving rain. Consequently, the snow has melted and wash away :-(

It's Snowing!

2007-12-01T22:41:00.000-08:00

Attention!

Attention!

Coming live from Vancouver Canada, it's been snowing for the past 24 hours, on and off of course. I have a hug aural exam in french on Monday and it will be canceled if the snow keeps up :) The annoying news is that I have to work early tomorrow morning, I have to be there by 8:30am. So I'm gonna wake up and call my boss to make sure the building's open before I head up there.

Here are some pictures of the snow fall:

Close up with the flash on.

looking down my street using "night vision."

Looking the other way down me street.

Please note: During one of the recent breaks in snow fall, my brother and I shoveled the snow. But as you can see, less then two hours later, it's all covered again.

Looking down my stairs in "night vision."

Another picture of the snow, using flash.

Enjoy all of you, i hope you're not working tomorrow!

What parsha is it anyway???

2007-11-29T10:11:00.000-08:00

Parshat Vayshev:

What happens in this parsha? A lot does so I'm not going to attempt to summarize all of it. B'H, I've reached a point in my learning where I now remember the storyline of the parsha without needing to learn the pasukim, not that learning the pasukim is not beneficial.

So, after glossing over the events in the parsha a plain and simple thought struck me, WE'RE IN OLAM HAZEH!!! We're not in gan eden. Now, i know that everyone knows this, and that this fact is not a revolutionary idea. However, i feel that many times I lose focus on this simple fact. How do I do that? I do this by thinking that 'big is better' and that, therefore, I should aim to get the newest models available. I can lose focus by concentrating on the gashmiut that i DON"T have (B"H) and then by getting upset and trying to attain it. In this way, I treat olam hazeh like olam haba and lose track of my tachlis in this world.

B'H, this parsha has reminded me and taught me to keep focus. Yes I don't have a car, yes I"m not rich with lots of money. But what do I have? I have the ability to pay for post-secondary education (with the help of student loans ;-p) I have the ability to attempt to get myself out of Vancouver and into Toronto. I have the ability to contact my friends, half way across the globe, and I have the ability to make a difference in children's lives and teach them Torah once a week....

I could go on. Rabbi Meisels taught me that I have a lot, if only I tilt my head away from the negative and focus on the positive I'll be able to see it all.

Yes, Yaakov (Yisroel) had a hard life, we all have our nissoynot and pekala, and we can understand why he wanted to 'settle'. But Hashem told him clearly that is not his tachlis and that he will 'settle' in olam haba.

May we all be zoche to settle in olam haba with tova and concentrate our current existence as being ovdei Hashem.

Shabbat Shalom.

Sarah Rutti

Application in Process...

2007-11-28T20:12:00.000-08:00

I have officially started the process of applying to Universities. With my second year at Langara College coming to an end, the time has come. One small step for man... with thousands more to follow. We'll wait and see what happens, as I continue to send in the required documents to complete the process.

Good Night.

The end of the week!

2007-11-22T20:26:00.000-08:00

YEAH!

Friday is here, well basically. This day marks the end of a long journey, and the beginning of a fast approaching vacation!

"And the crowd goes wild, YEAH YEAH!!!!"

Can you feel my enthusiasm?

So, with that said, I only have a math assignment for monday! Oh, how relieved a I feel! B"H! (Thank G-D) For those of you who are still stuck with in the project and essay deadline trap, don't worry, it will soon be over!

We're not going to think about finals now, though. That amount of worrying has it's time and place.

So, good luck to all of you. Thank you for listening and keep up the cheer! We can pull through this!

Shabbat Shalom.

School...

2007-11-21T10:41:00.000-08:00

It's hard to keep motivation all the way to the end. I've passed the 2 week mark till the end of classes. After investing for the past three months, I'm finding it difficult to keep plugging into everything... But I must do it, and I must to well. With that said, I'm gonna study for my french Oral Exam that is transpiring on Thursday. Have a great day y'all.

I"m been tagged for 7 random tings about me...

2007-11-18T18:19:00.000-08:00

Okay I've been tagged by Jelaina to post 7 random facts about myself.

The Rules:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself: some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post and list their names and link to them.
4. Let them know they've been tagged by leaving a comment at their blog.

Well, since I really don't know who my readers are, I"m going to make this a little random and impersonal. Those of you who know me well know this stuff already and much more. So here goes:

I'm passionate about anything I believe in. This includes facts about how the world works and so on. However, I've learned to keep my peace during classes that bring up controversial subjects. That doesn't mean, though, that I don't feel strongly about my believes, I'm just more careful about when I let then known.
I love how detailed our world is. This includes the veins in our bodies to the veins on a leaf. I love the way the seasons are run and the way nature takes it's place. I find being encompassed in nature very peaceful and calming.
I love reading, literature is my escape. When the day is too stressful I really enjoy picking up a fiction novel and reading. However, I can't stand romance and baseless plots. I need books that engage my intellect. Such as mysteries and some fantasies. The hard part is finding a good novel that isn't focused around relations (sex.)
I'm close to a perfectionist and control freak. However, as mentioned above, I've some a long way in working on those characteristics. I usually use them to get homework done and enjoy my work. When I was 7 I used to ask my mother for the detailed directions about how we were going to get somewhere. These details had to includes all streets and turn we were going to make. Thank G-D I don't do that anymore. But I had to work really hard to stop :-S
I believe that everyone one has a unique verity of abilities special prepared for them. That no one has ever or will have that unique blend ever again. It is for that reason that I strongly think that everyone has the ability to make a difference in his or her life. And the difference doesn't have to be acknowledged world wide for it to be a momentous difference. The fact that I can change one person's life, let a lone my own, is an amazing concept. If I utilize me abilities I can make a difference to every person I meet.
I love to clean up and organize things, it has to do with being a perfectionist. I like the feeling of accomplishing something, and putting everything away in its place. I love the sight of clear counters and sparling floors.
I spend time working on characteristics. As mentioned above, I really try hard to make a difference with my life. I feel that if I'm not willing to change for the better, then I'll never end up being the best me I can be. I have a unique opportunity, to live my life with my situations and characteristics. We all have this individual opportunity.

I don't know if I can dig up 7 people:
MAK, SEP, Earlyriser, Calvin and Hobbes,

Ok, those are the only ones I could dig up....

It's really hard...

2007-11-13T22:13:00.000-08:00

I was sitting in class today listening to the teacher speak about geological time scales and the creation of the earth...Of course, throughout his lecture I kept remembering how we know the world was created. >>That lead me to think about this AMAZING autobiography I heard, >>which inspired me to try to live each day closer to HaShem >>and then I *sighed*.

It had been one day since I listened to the autobiography and until I stepped into the outside world I was able to keep that feeling within me, to a high degree.
>> Then I was back outside, being tossed and turned by the currents of the wind and water... subject to weathering and erosion.

But I don't want to be made into a smooth stone, used to the tossing and turnings of the currents. I want to stay angled and coarse, aware of the currents and able to fight against them.

This is my hope, this is my path of survival. Because if I do allow myself to become smooth and spherical, then I will have lost myself to the tide.

B"H, that wont happen. I must stay sharp.

But how? What should I keep in my mind as I traverse the immense hallways and corridors? What can I do to keep my mind in FOCUS? Torah, mitzvout! KAVANA!

Shabbat in our week

2007-11-04T23:03:00.000-08:00

http://www.efocus.com/images/focus.gif

Just to start off the week, I wanted to remind us, mostly myself, that shabbat is coming!

We should be zochei to live this week with the kavana that shabbat is coming closer and that every action we do can be elevated by it, when done with the proper kavana.

I learn Ahavas Chesed once a week and we've been learning how many of the actions we do regularly are chesed miztvout. All we're missing is the kavana while we preform that the action is a chesed and that we're doing it because it's a chesed ;-)

So, have a great mitzvah filled week. May we all have the proper kavana while we do our daily activities.

(Some examples are washing dishes, helping someone with the door, teaching people, car pools, and so on.)

second image from: http://ctyouth.net/images/focus.jpg

The meaning of hakarat hatov

2007-10-31T21:53:00.000-07:00

While making the goody bags for my math fair project, i decided to listen to a shiur on line. This shiur is from The Smuz and it's called "Rich, Richer, Richest." I would like to share with you one of the points that Rabbi Shafier mentions:

The definition of haratat hatov is not appreciation, but recognition. The inyan of being makir tov, is one based of recognition that there is something being done to you that is good. Consequently, Don't just wolf everything down in two minutes, but take the time to appreciate and acknowledge what H'Shem has given you.

Another important point Rabbi Shafier mentions is the importance of perspective. I know that this has been mentioned many times and I'd like to repeat this idea in context with the word 'rich.' When people ask themselves, "Am I rich," what are they measuring their situation against to determine the answer? If they were to measure their richness against a poor man's possessions, then they would find themselves rich, indeed. But we don't, we use the term to reflect, "Is there anyone who have more then me, if so I"m not rich, is not then I'm rich."

Using this measuring technique, we will never be rich. Because there is always someone with more money or possessions. It is, therefore, important that we you should be thankful and grateful for the thing that is being done.

I think that this is a very important concept that we need to have clear in our minds. If we are aware of the amazing details that are orchestrated by H'Shem for our good, then we can only be happy and grateful. But first we need to recognize. So the next time you sit down to eat, notice the colours of the food, smell the flavours, and taste the textures with time and patience. judge our wealth with against the statement, "Do have have more then I need to be comfortable?" Do you have any luxuries? A cell phone perhaps? You can live without it, eh? How about a camera? There are many other luxuries that common people live with, but don't need.

I don't want to go through his whole drasha. Feel free to check out the link above. It's a website that offers free downloads.

Have a great week!

Try to be a better eved H'Shem by recognizing all the SMALL things he does/has done for us!

Good Night, with a twist

2007-10-29T22:32:00.000-07:00

I hope that everyone had a great shabbat. I want to share an insight that I learned over shabbat from Rabbi Baruch Leff's book "Shabbos in your Soul." He mentions there that shabbat is what connects our mitzvout of the week to olam haba, giving us the ability to earn zechus. Since we live in a gashmiut world, it is not possible for us to attain zechus through gashmiut actions. What we need is a connection to ruchnius. Shabbat is this connection.

(this learning should be a zuchus to the neshama of rabbi nachemiah ben moshe - I'm pretty sure that's Rabbi Kibel's name.)

What is shabbat? Shabat is a gift from HaShem's ganiz, treasure chest, that He's given to US! It's mein olam haba, it's not gashmiut, but ruchnius. Like our neshama, HaShem puts it in this olam haze and allows us to have a chance to connect to olam haba. Without it, our mitzvout would not be able to earn us zechus in olam haba. This is why our chachamim call creation 'sheshis imei bareshis'. Why 6 days and not 7, because on the 7th HaShem didn't create, He gave us shabbat. He installed the link between olam haba and olam hazei, for us. This explains why we say 'mekadesh hashabbat' in shemone esrai of shabbat, because we didn't make it (like the yom tov) HASHEM makes it ang GIVES it to US.

So, not only does shabbat allow for us to stop and rethink our lives and weeks, it allows us to attain zechus through our mitzvout during the week. It's the missing link.

How lucky are we to have this matana tova. B"H, we'll use each week with the knowledge that shabbat is coming to link us to olam haba and grant us a time to attain heights in ruchniut.

Have a great week! Shevua Tov.

Sarah Rutti

P.S. I just wanted to remind you that today (america time) is Rabbil Kibel's 2nd yartzeit, alav hashalom. If you could take a moment today and say a perek of tehillim or learn something in the zuchus of an aliah to his neshama, that would be great. It's one small thing that you're able to do for him, since you can't do mitzvout in olam haba.

Busy Week

2007-10-25T20:44:00.000-07:00

B"H! it's erev shabbat (the day before shabbat) and the week is finally ending! It's been a very long week for me, running from school and babysitting and homework, though very productive. I'm a LITTLE worried about running dry but I'm gonna try my best not to and just keep going and enjoy every spare minute I get!
So, I relaxed tonight, finally answering some of the neglected friends and email (sorry :-( ) B"H< I'll be in bed soon and asleep, allowing for an early rise and more productivity in the morning.
I'm starting to research (quickly) for my english essay and I'm even ahead in french homework! Yeah me!
I hope you're all doing well and having a great time thinking about shabbat and then end of a week/ beginning of a new week.
I'm working like CRAZY on sunday so I won't be too availible, but I miss you all!

Shabbat Shalom.

I'll try to add something about the parsha (weekly Torah portion) tomorrow morning. :D

It's been raining, 3 weeks and counting...

2007-10-22T18:31:00.000-07:00

Apparently, there's been a typhoon from Japan that has swept across the pacific ocean and hit the west coast. As a result, Vancouver has been drenched in three weeks of downpours. I personally don't mind, as I love the rain and find it's sound relaxing and calming. Surprisingly, as well, I haven't gotten sick of it just yet. But, it is still raining.

It's the perfect weather when all you have time to do is sit and do homework. That is why I've been able to have no life but school for the past little while, and I apologize for my absence in posts.

We were luck last weekend, when the weather did allow for some outdoor adventures, and I was able to go socialize with other human beings. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to go outdoors with others when it's raining, but most people don't want to go out when it's raining so it turns into a solo experience.

There is something to learn from this though, too much of anything isn't good.

I'd like to apply that sentence in this case. I'm hoping that mud slides will not occur on the north shore, and that the Fraser river will not overflow its dikes.

For only so much of anything is good, excessive is just that, excessive.

So, have a goood night, week, and month!

Sarah Rutti.

Apple Fair

2007-10-14T19:34:00.000-07:00

Today I wen to an apple fair down by the famous University in Vancouver. I went with two other families because they're husbands weren't available to come and they needed another pair of hands to take care of the collective 8 kids, BY'H. It was really fun and I enjoyed tasting all the different kinds of apple that they grow in Vancouver and being out with PEOPLE and not just with my books.
One of the really interesting things about whole fair is that there are SO many different types of apples and they all taste the same. You'd think that apples are apples, how many different flavours can you really get out of apples. But here, there were TONS of different types will all different flavours.
So I started thinking 'Wow, HK'BH (G-d), it's amazing how many different types of fruit You made, but look at all of these different flavours in one fruit!'
I wanted to share that idea with you, as well as the experience. Besides for being very frightened by the mere size of the campus, and woodlands around the area, I really enjoyed the fair. I felt that it was a sort of welcoming party for fall.
I hope that you are all doing well and that school and work are going well. Keep on smiling.

Rosh Chodesh Chesvon

2007-10-12T00:11:00.000-07:00

The time has come, it's rosh chodesh chesvon, (first day of a new month). Many people call this month 'mar chesvon' because there are not chagim during this month, were there are during tishrei and kislev, the two adjacent months to chesvon.

We also know that, in general, rosh chodesh has a special meaning for women in particular.

How can we apply this concept to ourselves?
I found a very nice article on aish called 'The Gift of the New Month.' You want a deeper explanation, she goes through it very nicely.

In short, I'd just like to say, that the moon represents the ability for renewal and rejuvenation. Similar to the concept that one must fall to get up again. Here too, one can attain a certain amount of chizuck (inspiration) from the moon as it reminds us that we can always pick ourselves up again.
This perspective is very useful as well enter Chesvon. Here, we're leaving the month or intense joy and revival, to enter a comparative dessert. What message should we take with us?

The message that we must retain as much of the spiritual elevation from tishrei as we can, an hold it for not only the next month but the next year. We will fall but we MUST get up and learn from our mistakes and put ourselves back together again, just like the moon does, and be hole.

I'm sorry that I didn't properly develop this theme. I'm tired (though that's normal and therefore no excuse) if ANYONE is confused by poor communication skills at this hour, please let me know I will take the time to clarify. Have a GREAT rosh chodesh and shabbat!

Shoresh.

Take care of the world

2007-10-09T23:54:00.001-07:00

Although I'm tired and about to go to bed, I wanted to writing something for Leah.

We know that the world around us has been set in motion by HKB"H (G-D) as we read in the parsha (weekly Torah Portion) last week. He created everything in this world before creating humans. This has tought us that this world if for us to us and take care of. As Adam is asked to be the shomer (guard)of the garden.

How can we apply with concept to our personal lives? Well there are many ways. To name a few, one could be more environmentally friendly and reduce, reuse, and recycle. Right now, annoyingly, the city of Vancouver is under strike so there's not public recycling collection, which is making 'some people's' lives difficult. But, there are other ways to help.

Secondly, one could be kinder to the things living on this planet, with us. One could make a bracha and be mekadesh the ruchnius of every object. I could go on, but you get the message.

Lastly, I just wanted to mention something that just came to my mind about the idea of chessed (kindness) that I learned from "Ahavas Chassed." It writes that the actions that we do habitually, holding the door for the next person, helping someone pick up their spilled goods, could be come a mitzvah of chessed if we have the kavana (intention) that that's why we're doing it.

I could elaborate on this idea, but I really need to go to bed... so I'll try to pick it up later. I just wanted to write something, besides for me annoying personal updates.
Thanks again for your time. Good night/day.

Feeling On Top

2007-10-08T23:41:00.000-07:00

B"H! (Thank G-d) I've been able to complete my homework! I still have more to do tomorrow :S, but that's always the case. I was even able to enjoy the presence of my family for two hours, and babysit for 5 hours, and still complete my hw!

B"H, my french hw and studying will be done in time for my quiz and test, this week.

Thanks for putting up with my up dates. I'll try to sit and write something inspirational really soon. Just give me some time, eh?

Have a great week, good luck to everyone in their own respective work and assignments.

All the best :D
Sarah

YES!

2007-10-07T22:41:00.000-07:00

This is for SEP, thanks for the respective picture that you put on your blog I really liked it and now have found a cute one as well, though yours I like better!

I'm very proud of myself, I'm not listening to a shiur (class) on tefillah (prayer) and I have a great hour of learning with Mrs. M.

B"H! (thank G-d) I did a lot of hw, though I'm still confused about some of the IF function :S.

Otherwise, I"m leaping up and hoping to stay up for a little bit. I'm gonna go to sleep now and wake up early so that I can accomplish as much as possible.

So oh yeah!

I hope that everyone is having a great day! Here's other pictures that I put on my other blog Just for Fun

One check for me!

2007-10-07T15:05:00.000-07:00

I am breathing and being productive, b'H! (Thank G-d)
I just finished my take-home midterm. YAH! I figured out that I can cut and past pieces of a pjf file onto a word document, thus allowing me to retain the over all look of the midterm that was emailed to me and still be able to answer the questions. YAH!

So now I'm going to go daven minch (pray the afternoon prayer) and then I'll attack excel and try to teach myself IFs and stuff like that.

Then, later, I'm gonna charge at my french hw, scary, and see how much I'll be able to do. B"H! (thank G-d) I have another day to do more homework! And I might not even need the whole thing, but I don't want to jinx it....

I hope you're having a great day and had a great chag (holiday) Look forward to my continuation of Crystal's Secret Adventures next sunday!

It's All going to work out.

2007-10-03T10:48:00.000-07:00

So, this is my exam schedule for next week:

Monday -

(canada) Thanks Giving. NO SCHOOL! means

a.) homework attack, all day long.
b.) babysitting at night, yes I'm crazzy.

Tuesday-

BCAP 1200 excel practical
Math take-home midterm due.

Wednesday-

Geology Lab Exam
English Essay due.

Thursday-

Dictée en français.

Friday-

Examen en français, unité 1 et 2.

Isn't that a great week! Well, lets just say that by the 15th I'll be one happy camper, if everything goes well and I'm able to retain my GPA.
B"H (G-d willing) everything will work out just fine. He's taken care so far and I'm sure, since I'm doing the best that I can, He'll continue in the future.

Have a great chag (holiday) Thanks for listening.

Green Is the Theme.

2007-10-02T23:40:00.000-07:00

I'm about to go write the rough draft for my english essay, even though it's 20 to midnight. B"H, (abbreviation for hebrew saying 'G-d Willing.' the - replaces a o) I'll finish with something workable by 1 am. I really hope this goes well and that I'm able to GET TO SLEEP.

I might just post the rough draft here.

Since I've been spending ALL of my time doing homework, and not socializing, this is going to have to be my connection with other beings for the moment.

Thank you all for listening.

Oh, btw, my essay is going to define a recurrent 'green theme' that appears throughout many poems. Using quotes from the passages, themselves, and my own 'brilliant' ideas, I'll make my first totally creative college essay. Up until now they've all be RESEARCH.

Anyhoo... thank again.

A tout a` l'heure.

2007-10-02T23:35:00.000-07:00

Just to let off some steam, after working on my math assignment for the past two hours!, I'm gonna share with you my accomplishment. Don't worry, you don't have to read or understand it, it will make me feel better though!

20a.) The student is correct to put the 3 over the hundreds place, the 1, because 7 isn’t going into 2, it’s going into 21. However, the student forgot to follow suit with the 49. 7 is not going into 4, it can’t, it’s going into 49, and should then be put over the 9, giving an answer of 307.

b.) Firstly, the student forgot to put the 2 over the 13, not just the 1, because 4 is going into 13, not 1. Additionally, 4 can go into 13 four times, to equal 12 with a remainder of 1.

50a.) 24 x 11 = 264, 14 x 11 = 154, 62 x 11 = 682. I seems that when a two digit number is multiplied by 11, the product is a thee digit number, whose first and last digit are that of the original number, and whose middle number is the sum of the first and second number.

b.) If you replace the two digit number by ab and plug it into the equation, it becomes clear why this happens, and that is holds true for any two digit number. :

A lot of the graphs wouldn't show up... so that's that. have a great chag.

Taking a Closer Look.

2007-09-30T21:49:00.000-07:00

Today I was babysitting and the kids decided to watch this movie. Now, I don't watch movies but I had to sit there to make sure that the 'scary' parts were fast forwarded.
As it turned out, I ended up watching the whole things. I was so shocked at what I saw. Many dancing scenes involved skirts flying up to the waist, or higher, and Ms. Hanagin was so slutty she made me want to throw-up.
I found myself dreading the next scene and skip most of the movie.

This is a KID's movie. It's supposed to be nice and cute, not seductive and leg showing.

Need less to say, I left feeling gross, right now I'm still trying to get over it. I told the mother that I thought is was a bad movie and that I had to skip most of it.

So that's that, be well. Thanks for listening.

Going in the RIGHT direction.

2007-09-25T10:05:00.000-07:00

That's right, I"m on the right road. After finally sitting down and finishing my hw, I was ready for relaxation by 10:15pm. If I would have known that it was only going to take me an hour to finish my hw... I would have started it a LOT sooner. So that's the recent update on my school overload.

Tonight, I hope, I won't go through the annoying depression again. I'll just have to sit down and ATTACK the work, get it over and done with.

Thanks SEP for being available to consult me. You really helped to put things into perspective. You rock.

Feeling Overwhelmed.

2007-09-24T21:08:00.000-07:00

OK, so it turns out that I got a lot of non school related things down today. I got more toys for kids club over sukkout, I took a shower, I helped with the sukkah, I learned on the phone for an hour, I switched my summer and winter clouther, I changed my bed sheets, and now I'm updating my blog. But... I still have four exercises in French to do, a math journal entry, and I was hoping to get some 14th century English lit Chaucer read tonight as well.

I guess I have to a.) get cracking and b.) face reality that I'm not superwoman.
It's 9: 15pm now so I'll get going and see how far I can get.

I'm gonna try to look on the bright side a.) I still have 3 hours till I gotta be in bed, and b.) I'm not even going to THINK about the up coming chag and all the class time that I'm missing, and consequently, all the hw I'm missing as well.

We'll see how I'm doing on motzei shabbat when I'm staying up late trying MADLY to get as much work done as possible.

Until then, I'm off to complete my french exercised ( Je vais commencer mes exercices l'francais.)

Thanks for listening.

I hope all's well with you.

Have a great day/night.

Looking Back

2007-09-23T10:07:00.000-07:00

Now that the yomim noraim are over, and the fast has been completed, what are we going to do with ourselves now? Many of us may feel a sort of floating feeling. We've just poured out hearts out to HaKadosh Baruch Hu and confessed out mistakes and errs of the past year. We've, hopefully, begged for forgiveness and promised to do our best to make the coming year more productive then the last.
But what should be our first step, or one of the first steps we take?

My Rav said a very nice speech by Neila. He mentioned that after praying a whole day in shule and privately confessing before HaShem, neila is a time to prove that prayer and confession true and show that we're reading to start anew. After spending the whole day to bedeck ourselves in new, clean, clothing, we now much change the inside to match the outside.
But neila's over. Can we still do this now? YES! We've gotten rid of our smelly, old, and stained clothing. We've adorned ourselves in fresh, trim, garments. We now have the task to look inside that match the inside to the clothing.

This is no easy task. So how can we try to accomplish it without becoming too discouraged or overwhelmed?
What should we do?
My advice is nothing you've never heard before. But as Kohelet says, nothing's new under the sun, and as the Ramchal writes in Mesilos Yesharim, it is the information that everyone knows, that everyone takes for granted and forgets. So I will now repeat the advice that had been given to me countless times.
Look inside yourself, at your characteristics and your personality. This is the thing that makes you most different from everyone else who walks upon the Earth. Search within this special part of you and try to find ONE thing that needs to be changed.
Make this thing small. Chose davening shachrit, or having kavna during birchot hashachar. It doesn't need to be about teffilla, it could be saying hi to the first 3 people you meet in a day. But make sure to chose one thing.
Then work on this thing for a month. Try to make a chart and give yourself a check at the end of the day if you've completed the task that you've set for yourself. Then, at the end of a month, see how you've done.

You may need more then a month to perfect, or get good, at this act. If so, go for it for another month. When you feel confident with your behavior in this act, add another one. Then continue with your checking chart with these two acts on it. See how you do in both of these acts after a month.

You can continue this act for the whole year. It could be that you don't get past two changes, but that's two things different in yourself from this yom kippur to the next. And that makes this year a productive year, one that HaShem will be happy to have given you.

It could be that this approach doesn't work for everyone. I don't know, it's just a suggestion.

I wish everyone a chatima tova. We should all be kaim the mitzvout of sukkout, as much as we can be as women, and be matzliach in the coming year. Let's make is worth HaShem's while, kaveiachel.

All Caught Up

2007-09-18T21:01:00.000-07:00

B"H! After missing 1 class in three courses and 1 classes in another course, I'm all caught up in homework , exams, and assignments. I was actually very proud of myself! I studied for my french test (that was on monday) on wed. morning, saturday night, sunday night, and monday morning! Since Rosh Hashana was on wed night-friday night. and shabbat was friday night- saturday night, this was a big accomplishment, and the good grade reaped the fruits! B"H!.

Additionally, i successfully completed all math assignments (due today) and the one that's dure on thurday. Furthermore, I've gotten notes from my missed geology and math. Lastly, my computers quiz went very well today, i hope.

All in all, HaShem helped me for fulfilling His mitzvout! We'll see how i do with succout, i'm sure it will be fine as well :D

Thanks for your patience in my late posting. I hope that everyone else is having a great day as well!

Wow i haven't posted for two weeks

2007-09-16T22:47:00.000-07:00

I'm really sorry that i've been neglecting this blog for the past two weeks. I've even had ideas about what to post but the time is what i'm lacking right now. even at this moment i should be studying french, or english, or doing my math homework.

But i felt so bad that I hadn't posted in so long, that i wanted to hay hi and apologize. I really will be running around crazy till Oct, so please bare with me.

I hope that everyone is doing well and having bit of time to breathe and reflect. I wish you well. All the best.

First day back

2007-09-04T22:31:00.000-07:00

I"m so excited to be back at school learning things. I know that it's only been a month, but i feel happy to be back. I don't know if that's how I'll feel in a few weeks, but right now I do.

I had a great first day of class. Of course, have of my classes ended early, that was awesome, so I had a really chilled day.

The best part is that I only have one class tomorrow, my lab doesn't start till next week.

Yah!

Otherwise, I'm being good and responsible and doing my homework. I"m SURE the work load is going to pick up really quickly, especially since I"m missing so many days for the chagim, so I don't know how often I"ll be able to post later.

All the same, i hope you're doing great! Thanks for stopping by and reading this :D

Hello Everyone

2007-08-26T22:49:00.000-07:00

I Just wanted to send a personalized hello. I hope that everyone is doing well. I know that I haven't spoken to a few of you in a LONG time, and I'm sorry. Hopefully this recording of my voice will make up for it :P

Latest Thoughts

2007-08-26T19:53:00.000-07:00

B'h, I just came back from my chavrusa. We're touching on elul and yomim norim. The sefarim we learned from tonight are Praying with Fire and Elul (with lightening on the cover).

One of the feelings i left with the shadow of the emotion of heart break that accompanies the guilt of a wrong doing. As in, when one realizes that one's actions were wrong, and that, therefore, one had committed an act AGAINST HaShem, there is usually a feeling of guilt that quickly follows with a heart breaking realization that something must be done to rectify the wrong deed.

This is what i felt tonight.

B"h, i was able to glimpse into yom hadin and actually prepare myself and start the teshuva process. This is what elul is all about, and i think what it's supposed to be. I wanted to convey that experience with all of you in the hopes that i can ignite the same response in you as well. I pray that we'll all be able to properly, at least to some extent, prepare ourselves for the yomei hadin that are fast approaching us, even if we don't go to slichot every morning.

I was reminded tonight that I have done wrong, and, B"H, I am not a malach. I don't know why I have gone through what i have, or why others so close and dear to me have gone through hardships as well.

I don't know why the world turns the way it does, or why our gallus seems to be standing still at the moment, ch's.

I do know that i'm a bat Yisroel and a bat melech. I need to act that way CONSTANTLY and realize that in my human actions i have not only done good.

With this reminder i hope to preform accordingly.

Good night. Kol tov. Thanks for listening.

Sarah Rut

P.S (Picture Source) http://www.oldeducator.com/reminder.gif

The Start of a New Semester

2007-08-26T19:30:00.001-07:00

I can't believe I'm starting my second year in college. Last year I was quaking at the thought of going to college and starting a the four year journey of post secondary education. B"H, i can now look back and say that one year has flown by.

With the commencement of another semester brings the rush of excitement for new classes and supplies, as well as the anxious thoughts of homework. And so, i'm looking forward to starting another year of college.

Furthermore, I'm apprehensive about the amount of 'free time' i will have, on account to a five course load of work. I ask for patiences and support as I start the new school year.

Additionally, being that the yomim tovim fall in the second, third and fourth week of September, bleeding into the first week of October, I'll have a lot of school work to make up. Therefore, I'm going to be extra busy during the month of September. Regardless, i'll try to keep posting and updating my thoughts about the chagim and such.

I want to wish everyone in college hatzlacha, and everyone not hatzlacha as well.

Stay in touch. Be well.

ants, continued

2007-08-19T16:57:00.001-07:00

Ants

2007-08-19T15:42:00.000-07:00

Does anyone know if regular ants can pose a hazard in a house. I don't think they're carpenter ants, just normal ants that have decided to nest in the house... well the basement.

It's coming

2007-08-08T12:16:00.000-07:00

http://www.hoshanarabbah.org/images/rosh_chodesh_06.jpg

Rosh chodesh elul is nearly upon us. I'm not ready. Does anyone have advice as to how we can enhance this time of year and allow ourselves to grow? I'd appreciate any feedback. I wish you all well. All the best.
SRS

In the near future

2007-07-26T00:02:00.000-07:00

I hope that this message finds you well, and that your fast was meaningful and not to straining. I will be on break for the next week and do not know if i will be able to post until the first full week of August. I want to apologize for this delay. I will try, regardless of my busy schedule, to post my daily thoughts and events. Otherwise, please stay tuned, have a great rest of Av and we should all be zochei to proper teshuva and messiach. be well

Sarah Rut

Image source: http://www.wales.nhs.uk/sites3/gallery/681/busy_receptionist.jpg

Tears I Need to Cry

2007-07-24T00:01:00.001-07:00

Thoughts on Tisha B'Av

2007-07-23T21:22:00.000-07:00

Overview: Book of Lamentations
All Suffering steams from one source
These articles are from Aish.com

I thought that i would share some of my thoughts as i sit on the floor on my tush, which is slowly going numb, as i attempt to attain a level of transformation on this tisha b'av:

There are a few things that come to mind, after haven read the above aritcles. Many of the things that i am about to mention are points that were taught to me at some point and time, which i am not expounding on. I want to apologize that i can not, therefore, cite properly where i heard what from.

I believe that it is necessary to remind ourselves of the importance of unity. This is an amazing force, one which stood up against the gazera to destroy klall yisroel during the tower of bavel. Instead of destroying us, HaShem scattered us around the globe and gave us different languages to disperse the unity that was used for doing sins. But it was this unity that saved us from complete destruction.

So much more so in our time now. How many names are there for tehillim. These are names of physically, psychologically, and spiritually sick human beings who need help. How much kavana are we really devouting to the lip service that we part take in once a day? Are we thinking about the names of our brothers and sisters as they're listed quickly?

How can we better approach the situation? Why don't we chose ONE name, find out the sickness and a little details, so that we can relate to the person, and really daven for him or her. Really pour out our hearts to their recovery, weather physical or later? We have the koach, we are the children of Avraham, we have the power of dibor, we need to use this power that THINK while we speak.

That leads to number two:

Lashon hara. I"m afraid that this term has become a often attered, hardly felt, word. Sure, now that it is tisha b'av, we ponder the meanings of our words. But for starters, do we know the halachot of shmirat halashon? Are we trying to constantly review them so that they are clear or common in our minds? How else are we to remember then if we're not constantly bring them to our attention? So what should we do?

It would be very benificial for one to look into one of the MANY shmirat halashon books that have been printed by the chafetz chaim heritage foundation. One of which is daily companion. These books are split up into daily lessons, allowing for the short read a day, which continue throughout the year, according to the calendar provided.

It would be in one's best interest to learn this with a chavrusa. This can help to a.) ensure that one is understanding the halacha properly by cross referencing it with the chavursa b.) allow one to help another Jew become proficient in the halachout and c.) increase clarity by unitizing two imaginations over one aspect of shimrat halashon.

One more thing that came to mind was, the cause and affect of our own actions. The latter aritcle put suffering into a whole new prospective for me. If connected every aspect of pain the the loss of the temple, and the loss of the temple is directly the fault of each and every one of us. This equation struck home and made many questions answerable. To expound on her topic, i want to impress upon ourselves the need for responsibility.

This word bares great weight on anyone who is willing to shoulder it. It is a word that encompasses many different actions and thoughts. If one is responsible, then one understands that what they do affects not only themselves but others, and that harm can occur on account of themselves. This is a very hard concept to fully understand and keep in mind at all times. Every action has a reaction, if not many chain reactions. If one ditches work without informing their coworkers and employer(s), then that days shift needs to shouldered by SOMEONE and others need to work harder to keep up the same output in performance and product.So too when someone sins. There is a lacking, a void, that needs to be added equally, if not doubly or triply, to counteract and output the same spiritually that is needed to keep the world at a certain level. We are all responsible, therefore, to keep ourselves in check.

Granted, everyone sins and has set backs on the road upward, it's what is done after such set backs that makes all the difference.

Furthermore, more inline with the article, there would be no suffering if we had the bait hamigdash, for many obvious reasons. a.) would we even have sin? b.) all sad would be turned to happy. This is a wonderful thought, and one which allows us to focus our suffering on the cause and work towards that cause, the rebuilding of the bait hamigdash, for a purpose that's closer to home, our own suffering.

My Trial

2007-07-18T09:00:00.000-07:00

Hello Nine Days, how can I use you properly?

It happens to be that this week I've experienced a rude awakening. I've needed to use a lot of personally and social strength to fight against the tide and remain on track. Even with all of these efforts, I'm not sure that success will be my outcome, though i can only hope, pray, and try harder, to see that it will be. Until then, I'd like to share my experience with you, though the details will not be disclosed as it is a personal matter.

I have had a battle of internal struggle, these are think are the most difficult kind. It was one where emotions were pulling and threatening to drown my logic and 'smarts.' It was hard to say that I truly know what to do, and how that decision would continuously affect my future decisions, but that my heart wanted to do what was wrong. I knew in my mind what was best, my intuition told me how i should act, but my heart was giving a dieing battle for what it wanted.

I must stress that the hardship was not only the internal battle but the clarity to which i KNEW what to do and the clarity to which i FELT to do the opposite. And i could see that it was bad, to follow my emotions, and that more struggle might come as a cause of it, but regardless, i was almost willing to lose myself to win my heart.

Thanks to a VERY stubborn friend who sat by me and continuously addressed the real issues, that which my head knew well, i was able, i hope, to keep on track and do what was logically and hashkafically right to do. I must thank her, it could be that through her my 'life' was saved and that much pain was lost. Thank you.

Thank you for not letting me persuade you, as i was myself, and for being the sliach to help my to stay on track :D

Today, as i walked to school, i saw that the year ahead might be more difficult then the one behind. I don't know why, but the things i feared to occur last year are happening now. I hope that they will stop or that i will regain my strength so that i am no longer tried by these issues, and therefore don't notice them anymore.

I now recite my goals to myself and remind myself of why i am here and what i really want to accomplish, i hope that with this i will be able to keep the TRUE goals in mind.

I found it 'lovely' that this test transpired during the Nine Days. I hope that, if this was a test, i won and proved my loyalty, if not then i must try all the more harder for next time.

I wish everyone hatzlacha, may we all emerge as white as snow and pure in heart.