In the near future

I hope that this message finds you well, and that your fast was meaningful and not to straining. I will be on break for the next week and do not know if i will be able to post until the first full week of August. I want to apologize for this delay. I will try, regardless of my busy schedule, to post my daily thoughts and events. Otherwise, please stay tuned, have a great rest of Av and we should all be zochei to proper teshuva and messiach. be well

Sarah Rut

Image source: http://www.wales.nhs.uk/sites3/gallery/681/busy_receptionist.jpg

Tears I Need to Cry

Thoughts on Tisha B'Av

Overview: Book of Lamentations
All Suffering steams from one source
These articles are from Aish.com

I thought that i would share some of my thoughts as i sit on the floor on my tush, which is slowly going numb, as i attempt to attain a level of transformation on this tisha b'av:

There are a few things that come to mind, after haven read the above aritcles. Many of the things that i am about to mention are points that were taught to me at some point and time, which i am not expounding on. I want to apologize that i can not, therefore, cite properly where i heard what from.

• I believe that it is necessary to remind ourselves of the importance of unity. This is an amazing force, one which stood up against the gazera to destroy klall yisroel during the tower of bavel. Instead of destroying us, HaShem scattered us around the globe and gave us different languages to disperse the unity that was used for doing sins. But it was this unity that saved us from complete destruction.

So much more so in our time now. How many names are there for tehillim. These are names of physically, psychologically, and spiritually sick human beings who need help. How much kavana are we really devouting to the lip service that we part take in once a day? Are we thinking about the names of our brothers and sisters as they're listed quickly?

How can we better approach the situation? Why don't we chose ONE name, find out the sickness and a little details, so that we can relate to the person, and really daven for him or her. Really pour out our hearts to their recovery, weather physical or later? We have the koach, we are the children of Avraham, we have the power of dibor, we need to use this power that THINK while we speak.

That leads to number two:

• Lashon hara. I"m afraid that this term has become a often attered, hardly felt, word. Sure, now that it is tisha b'av, we ponder the meanings of our words. But for starters, do we know the halachot of shmirat halashon? Are we trying to constantly review them so that they are clear or common in our minds? How else are we to remember then if we're not constantly bring them to our attention? So what should we do?
  

It would be very benificial for one to look into one of the MANY shmirat halashon books that have been printed by the chafetz chaim heritage foundation. One of which is daily companion. These books are split up into daily lessons, allowing for the short read a day, which continue throughout the year, according to the calendar provided.

It would be in one's best interest to learn this with a chavrusa. This can help to a.) ensure that one is understanding the halacha properly by cross referencing it with the chavursa b.) allow one to help another Jew become proficient in the halachout and c.) increase clarity by unitizing two imaginations over one aspect of shimrat halashon.

• One more thing that came to mind was, the cause and affect of our own actions. The latter aritcle put suffering into a whole new prospective for me. If connected every aspect of pain the the loss of the temple, and the loss of the temple is directly the fault of each and every one of us. This equation struck home and made many questions answerable. To expound on her topic, i want to impress upon ourselves the need for responsibility.
  

This word bares great weight on anyone who is willing to shoulder it. It is a word that encompasses many different actions and thoughts. If one is responsible, then one understands that what they do affects not only themselves but others, and that harm can occur on account of themselves. This is a very hard concept to fully understand and keep in mind at all times. Every action has a reaction, if not many chain reactions. If one ditches work without informing their coworkers and employer(s), then that days shift needs to shouldered by SOMEONE and others need to work harder to keep up the same output in performance and product.So too when someone sins. There is a lacking, a void, that needs to be added equally, if not doubly or triply, to counteract and output the same spiritually that is needed to keep the world at a certain level. We are all responsible, therefore, to keep ourselves in check.

Granted, everyone sins and has set backs on the road upward, it's what is done after such set backs that makes all the difference.

Furthermore, more inline with the article, there would be no suffering if we had the bait hamigdash, for many obvious reasons. a.) would we even have sin? b.) all sad would be turned to happy. This is a wonderful thought, and one which allows us to focus our suffering on the cause and work towards that cause, the rebuilding of the bait hamigdash, for a purpose that's closer to home, our own suffering.

My Trial

Hello Nine Days, how can I use you properly?

It happens to be that this week I've experienced a rude awakening. I've needed to use a lot of personally and social strength to fight against the tide and remain on track. Even with all of these efforts, I'm not sure that success will be my outcome, though i can only hope, pray, and try harder, to see that it will be. Until then, I'd like to share my experience with you, though the details will not be disclosed as it is a personal matter.

I have had a battle of internal struggle, these are think are the most difficult kind. It was one where emotions were pulling and threatening to drown my logic and 'smarts.' It was hard to say that I truly know what to do, and how that decision would continuously affect my future decisions, but that my heart wanted to do what was wrong. I knew in my mind what was best, my intuition told me how i should act, but my heart was giving a dieing battle for what it wanted.

I must stress that the hardship was not only the internal battle but the clarity to which i KNEW what to do and the clarity to which i FELT to do the opposite. And i could see that it was bad, to follow my emotions, and that more struggle might come as a cause of it, but regardless, i was almost willing to lose myself to win my heart.

Thanks to a VERY stubborn friend who sat by me and continuously addressed the real issues, that which my head knew well, i was able, i hope, to keep on track and do what was logically and hashkafically right to do. I must thank her, it could be that through her my 'life' was saved and that much pain was lost. Thank you.

Thank you for not letting me persuade you, as i was myself, and for being the sliach to help my to stay on track :D

Today, as i walked to school, i saw that the year ahead might be more difficult then the one behind. I don't know why, but the things i feared to occur last year are happening now. I hope that they will stop or that i will regain my strength so that i am no longer tried by these issues, and therefore don't notice them anymore.

I now recite my goals to myself and remind myself of why i am here and what i really want to accomplish, i hope that with this i will be able to keep the TRUE goals in mind.

I found it 'lovely' that this test transpired during the Nine Days. I hope that, if this was a test, i won and proved my loyalty, if not then i must try all the more harder for next time.

I wish everyone hatzlacha, may we all emerge as white as snow and pure in heart.

Three Weeks

The time has come.

Am I ready?

Will I ever be ready?

Is there anything I can do

to be ready?

All of these questions are common for Elul.

But it's 'only' Av,

I tell myself.

Why am I so worried then?

Maybe because it's the three weeks and I don'e feel the connection?

I KNOW what time of year it is

and what some of the kochot are.

Yet I don't feel like I'm working hard enough

to produce the proper results.

I'll try harder

I'll ignore the distractions

and I'll focus on the task at hand.

I wish us hatzlacha.

Have a MEANINGFUL

and

PRODUCTIVE

three weeks.

You're on Stage

Imagine if you were an actor, only you had to be yourself instead of acting a different role. Granted, you'd only do things that made you look favorable. Because, after all, you're on stage and everyone can see what your doing, even if the character your playing is YOU.

Now pretend that the audience can hear your thoughts. Then what you would you do? Even in situations, that arouse on stage, that you were uncomfortable with and you therefore attempted to hide your discomfort, the audience would know what was really going on in your head.

So how would you fix this problem? Would you have to change your thoughts all together? Change you perspective so that even your thoughts were good and didn't embarrass you? You'd then need to judge everyone favorably, so that no matter what happens during the play, you see them in a positive light and your thoughts are only good and pure.

Well, it's a good thing that people can't read our minds, because if we were in that position, where is was necessary to watch what we think and how we view others then we'd have a lot of work to do.

Guess what, G-d 'hears' our thoughts. He knows what our true motives are. Now, we're not all garbage, we're upright standing Jews, and if you're reading this and know me then you one of the 10% of our nation who are doing a lot more mitzvout then the other 90% (unfortunately :-( )

But then again, being that we're part of such a small percent we carry more responsibility for our actions.

Hm..... well then. I think I've made my point pretty clear, but I'll restate it just in case.

We're on a stage. That stage is called life. During this life we encounter many people as well build ourselves and try to reach our potential. Many times, most of the times, we encounter people who are quit different from ourselves, and we therefore tend to look down on them for it. (and often, they are very similar to ourselves and we may still look down on them for it.) I think that it's a very important practice to try and look at everything positively. I know that it's hard, but it's necessary. Not only will it help to develop ourselves into better and happier ovedei HaShems, but it will help us to stop speaking lashon hara, and encourage seeing a situation in dam lecaf zechus.

May we all be zochei to have strength to realize what our hishtadlus is in every situation and the courage to fulfill it and see it through to the end. Kol Hakavod to all of you.

YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB. REMEMBER THAT YOU'RE SPECIAL AND PART OF THE 10% OF OUR NATION THAT IS SHOMER. ALL THE POWER TO YOU AND MAY YOU ONLY BE SHOWERED WITH DEW.

Go You Go

I want to wish everyone an easy fast. For most of you it's almost over though.
I wanted to take this opertunity to remind us that everything that happens to in world is a message to all of us. We should take this time look within ourselves and be honest. We need to see if there's anything that we can change about ourselves that will improve us and klall yisroel. I want to wish each and everyone of us the energy and motivation to continue to work on ourselves and be the best we can be