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Sunday, September 23, 2007

Looking Back


Now that the yomim noraim are over, and the fast has been completed, what are we going to do with ourselves now? Many of us may feel a sort of floating feeling. We've just poured out hearts out to HaKadosh Baruch Hu and confessed out mistakes and errs of the past year. We've, hopefully, begged for forgiveness and promised to do our best to make the coming year more productive then the last.
But what should be our first step, or one of the first steps we take?

My Rav said a very nice speech by Neila. He mentioned that after praying a whole day in shule and privately confessing before HaShem, neila is a time to prove that prayer and confession true and show that we're reading to start anew. After spending the whole day to bedeck ourselves in new, clean, clothing, we now much change the inside to match the outside.
But neila's over. Can we still do this now? YES! We've gotten rid of our smelly, old, and stained clothing. We've adorned ourselves in fresh, trim, garments. We now have the task to look inside that match the inside to the clothing.

This is no easy task. So how can we try to accomplish it without becoming too discouraged or overwhelmed?
What should we do?
My advice is nothing you've never heard before. But as Kohelet says, nothing's new under the sun, and as the Ramchal writes in Mesilos Yesharim, it is the information that everyone knows, that everyone takes for granted and forgets. So I will now repeat the advice that had been given to me countless times.
Look inside yourself, at your characteristics and your personality. This is the thing that makes you most different from everyone else who walks upon the Earth. Search within this special part of you and try to find ONE thing that needs to be changed.
Make this thing small. Chose davening shachrit, or having kavna during birchot hashachar. It doesn't need to be about teffilla, it could be saying hi to the first 3 people you meet in a day. But make sure to chose one thing.
Then work on this thing for a month. Try to make a chart and give yourself a check at the end of the day if you've completed the task that you've set for yourself. Then, at the end of a month, see how you've done.

You may need more then a month to perfect, or get good, at this act. If so, go for it for another month. When you feel confident with your behavior in this act, add another one. Then continue with your checking chart with these two acts on it. See how you do in both of these acts after a month.

You can continue this act for the whole year. It could be that you don't get past two changes, but that's two things different in yourself from this yom kippur to the next. And that makes this year a productive year, one that HaShem will be happy to have given you.

It could be that this approach doesn't work for everyone. I don't know, it's just a suggestion.

I wish everyone a chatima tova. We should all be kaim the mitzvout of sukkout, as much as we can be as women, and be matzliach in the coming year. Let's make is worth HaShem's while, kaveiachel.

4 comments:

Earlyriser said...

Sarah Rut, you are so right! My problem is, I try to take somethng upon myself and go too far! I jump in the big before the small. How do I do small first?

SEP said...

Amen Sarahle! Well said, and I think this topic is definitely appropriate for the post yomim norayim period. Furthermore, I think the use of a cheshbon hanefesh is essential to spiritual growth, so I'm happy to see that you mentioned it here. What is more, Sukkot is coming and we all have the chance to work on our mitzvoth and avodat Hashem. One more chag to be close to Hashem before we have to work on ourselves during a midbar of chagim. Of course we can do it, but let's take advantage of this coming chag to propel ourselves into the new year. [Lastly, I really like the pictures you chose.] Good job and chag sameach to you (and everybody else). We can do it! Now let's go out into the world and change OURSELVES one small midah at a time! As the Chofetz Chaim says, How does one change the world? By changing himself first... or something like that.

Sarah Rutti said...

Thank you Sara for your input.

Leah, i mentioned a few things above, those are on the small scale of things. There are two things to be carful about 1.) narrow down your focus and 2.) only specify your focus on one thing at a time.
eg: is your area of interest is tefilla, look into one tefilla, like sachrit, then break sachrit down into ONE thing you say during sachrit and try to have proper kavan for that one part of the teffila.
That's how you break things down.
I hope this has helped.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for writing this.