Tears I Need to Cry

Thoughts on Tisha B'Av

Overview: Book of Lamentations
All Suffering steams from one source
These articles are from Aish.com

I thought that i would share some of my thoughts as i sit on the floor on my tush, which is slowly going numb, as i attempt to attain a level of transformation on this tisha b'av:

There are a few things that come to mind, after haven read the above aritcles. Many of the things that i am about to mention are points that were taught to me at some point and time, which i am not expounding on. I want to apologize that i can not, therefore, cite properly where i heard what from.

• I believe that it is necessary to remind ourselves of the importance of unity. This is an amazing force, one which stood up against the gazera to destroy klall yisroel during the tower of bavel. Instead of destroying us, HaShem scattered us around the globe and gave us different languages to disperse the unity that was used for doing sins. But it was this unity that saved us from complete destruction.

So much more so in our time now. How many names are there for tehillim. These are names of physically, psychologically, and spiritually sick human beings who need help. How much kavana are we really devouting to the lip service that we part take in once a day? Are we thinking about the names of our brothers and sisters as they're listed quickly?

How can we better approach the situation? Why don't we chose ONE name, find out the sickness and a little details, so that we can relate to the person, and really daven for him or her. Really pour out our hearts to their recovery, weather physical or later? We have the koach, we are the children of Avraham, we have the power of dibor, we need to use this power that THINK while we speak.

That leads to number two:

• Lashon hara. I"m afraid that this term has become a often attered, hardly felt, word. Sure, now that it is tisha b'av, we ponder the meanings of our words. But for starters, do we know the halachot of shmirat halashon? Are we trying to constantly review them so that they are clear or common in our minds? How else are we to remember then if we're not constantly bring them to our attention? So what should we do?
  

It would be very benificial for one to look into one of the MANY shmirat halashon books that have been printed by the chafetz chaim heritage foundation. One of which is daily companion. These books are split up into daily lessons, allowing for the short read a day, which continue throughout the year, according to the calendar provided.

It would be in one's best interest to learn this with a chavrusa. This can help to a.) ensure that one is understanding the halacha properly by cross referencing it with the chavursa b.) allow one to help another Jew become proficient in the halachout and c.) increase clarity by unitizing two imaginations over one aspect of shimrat halashon.

• One more thing that came to mind was, the cause and affect of our own actions. The latter aritcle put suffering into a whole new prospective for me. If connected every aspect of pain the the loss of the temple, and the loss of the temple is directly the fault of each and every one of us. This equation struck home and made many questions answerable. To expound on her topic, i want to impress upon ourselves the need for responsibility.
  

This word bares great weight on anyone who is willing to shoulder it. It is a word that encompasses many different actions and thoughts. If one is responsible, then one understands that what they do affects not only themselves but others, and that harm can occur on account of themselves. This is a very hard concept to fully understand and keep in mind at all times. Every action has a reaction, if not many chain reactions. If one ditches work without informing their coworkers and employer(s), then that days shift needs to shouldered by SOMEONE and others need to work harder to keep up the same output in performance and product.So too when someone sins. There is a lacking, a void, that needs to be added equally, if not doubly or triply, to counteract and output the same spiritually that is needed to keep the world at a certain level. We are all responsible, therefore, to keep ourselves in check.

Granted, everyone sins and has set backs on the road upward, it's what is done after such set backs that makes all the difference.

Furthermore, more inline with the article, there would be no suffering if we had the bait hamigdash, for many obvious reasons. a.) would we even have sin? b.) all sad would be turned to happy. This is a wonderful thought, and one which allows us to focus our suffering on the cause and work towards that cause, the rebuilding of the bait hamigdash, for a purpose that's closer to home, our own suffering.

My Trial

Hello Nine Days, how can I use you properly?

It happens to be that this week I've experienced a rude awakening. I've needed to use a lot of personally and social strength to fight against the tide and remain on track. Even with all of these efforts, I'm not sure that success will be my outcome, though i can only hope, pray, and try harder, to see that it will be. Until then, I'd like to share my experience with you, though the details will not be disclosed as it is a personal matter.

I have had a battle of internal struggle, these are think are the most difficult kind. It was one where emotions were pulling and threatening to drown my logic and 'smarts.' It was hard to say that I truly know what to do, and how that decision would continuously affect my future decisions, but that my heart wanted to do what was wrong. I knew in my mind what was best, my intuition told me how i should act, but my heart was giving a dieing battle for what it wanted.

I must stress that the hardship was not only the internal battle but the clarity to which i KNEW what to do and the clarity to which i FELT to do the opposite. And i could see that it was bad, to follow my emotions, and that more struggle might come as a cause of it, but regardless, i was almost willing to lose myself to win my heart.

Thanks to a VERY stubborn friend who sat by me and continuously addressed the real issues, that which my head knew well, i was able, i hope, to keep on track and do what was logically and hashkafically right to do. I must thank her, it could be that through her my 'life' was saved and that much pain was lost. Thank you.

Thank you for not letting me persuade you, as i was myself, and for being the sliach to help my to stay on track :D

Today, as i walked to school, i saw that the year ahead might be more difficult then the one behind. I don't know why, but the things i feared to occur last year are happening now. I hope that they will stop or that i will regain my strength so that i am no longer tried by these issues, and therefore don't notice them anymore.

I now recite my goals to myself and remind myself of why i am here and what i really want to accomplish, i hope that with this i will be able to keep the TRUE goals in mind.

I found it 'lovely' that this test transpired during the Nine Days. I hope that, if this was a test, i won and proved my loyalty, if not then i must try all the more harder for next time.

I wish everyone hatzlacha, may we all emerge as white as snow and pure in heart.

Three Weeks

The time has come.

Am I ready?

Will I ever be ready?

Is there anything I can do

to be ready?

All of these questions are common for Elul.

But it's 'only' Av,

I tell myself.

Why am I so worried then?

Maybe because it's the three weeks and I don'e feel the connection?

I KNOW what time of year it is

and what some of the kochot are.

Yet I don't feel like I'm working hard enough

to produce the proper results.

I'll try harder

I'll ignore the distractions

and I'll focus on the task at hand.

I wish us hatzlacha.

Have a MEANINGFUL

and

PRODUCTIVE

three weeks.

You're on Stage

Imagine if you were an actor, only you had to be yourself instead of acting a different role. Granted, you'd only do things that made you look favorable. Because, after all, you're on stage and everyone can see what your doing, even if the character your playing is YOU.

Now pretend that the audience can hear your thoughts. Then what you would you do? Even in situations, that arouse on stage, that you were uncomfortable with and you therefore attempted to hide your discomfort, the audience would know what was really going on in your head.

So how would you fix this problem? Would you have to change your thoughts all together? Change you perspective so that even your thoughts were good and didn't embarrass you? You'd then need to judge everyone favorably, so that no matter what happens during the play, you see them in a positive light and your thoughts are only good and pure.

Well, it's a good thing that people can't read our minds, because if we were in that position, where is was necessary to watch what we think and how we view others then we'd have a lot of work to do.

Guess what, G-d 'hears' our thoughts. He knows what our true motives are. Now, we're not all garbage, we're upright standing Jews, and if you're reading this and know me then you one of the 10% of our nation who are doing a lot more mitzvout then the other 90% (unfortunately :-( )

But then again, being that we're part of such a small percent we carry more responsibility for our actions.

Hm..... well then. I think I've made my point pretty clear, but I'll restate it just in case.

We're on a stage. That stage is called life. During this life we encounter many people as well build ourselves and try to reach our potential. Many times, most of the times, we encounter people who are quit different from ourselves, and we therefore tend to look down on them for it. (and often, they are very similar to ourselves and we may still look down on them for it.) I think that it's a very important practice to try and look at everything positively. I know that it's hard, but it's necessary. Not only will it help to develop ourselves into better and happier ovedei HaShems, but it will help us to stop speaking lashon hara, and encourage seeing a situation in dam lecaf zechus.

May we all be zochei to have strength to realize what our hishtadlus is in every situation and the courage to fulfill it and see it through to the end. Kol Hakavod to all of you.

YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB. REMEMBER THAT YOU'RE SPECIAL AND PART OF THE 10% OF OUR NATION THAT IS SHOMER. ALL THE POWER TO YOU AND MAY YOU ONLY BE SHOWERED WITH DEW.

Go You Go

I want to wish everyone an easy fast. For most of you it's almost over though.
I wanted to take this opertunity to remind us that everything that happens to in world is a message to all of us. We should take this time look within ourselves and be honest. We need to see if there's anything that we can change about ourselves that will improve us and klall yisroel. I want to wish each and everyone of us the energy and motivation to continue to work on ourselves and be the best we can be

Wheeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO, i don't know where all of my viewers went? I feel left out. Where did everyone go? It's the summer, isn't everyone sitting in front of the computer all day? ;-P
Unfortunately, i am, though it's to type up papers and essays.
B"H i just finished half of my 10 page psych report and i feel good. I"m gonna go attack the later half, which of course might be harder then the first.
Otherwise, i wanted to wish a big mazal tov to EVERYONE. those who have just finished school, gotten engaged, had kids, gotten married, graduated, or have any other reason to be happy!
I hope to speak with some of you soon.

(P.S Leah, I'm really sorry that i never called you back.)

SLEEPPP!!!

The past two nights i have not been able to fall asleep, it's really annoying and i don't know what to do about it. I'm about to try to fall asleep again.
I've been sleeping, but i don't feel rested when i wake up.And then during the day i feel really tired. B"H i'll be able to sleep properly tonight. Sweet dreams everyone
My mother used to tell me to "dream of fields and butterflies" so i put up this picture

.

He's watching

Hashem is always watching. For the good and for the bad. He loves you, make Him proud

Walk with a Smile

B'h I"m busy, with good things. It happens often, therefore, that I'm constantly thinking about this or that. Weather it's and essay that I'm working on, a phone call I need to make, or the list of homework that i want to accomplish before i head to work, I'm always deep in thought and concentrating on the inner more then the outer. Therefore, it happens that when I'm transporting from one location to the next, I wont pay proper attention to the people around me or what kind of expression I'm carying on my face.
I know that I've completely missed people's presence, consequently, or just ignored them without saying hello. B'h, this was brought to my attention on Sunday. I've, since then, tried to walk in the street with a smile, or at least smile to those that i see.
I know that there is an inyan of this in the gerama or Torah. I just wanted to remind everyone, as well as myself, that when we're walking down the street we should always great the people we know, weather it's to stop and have a conversation with them or to tell them that you're in a rush and just wanted to say, though you're sorry you don't have time to talk.
I think it's very important. A lot of people can be hurt by abrupt hellos or non at all.
I've been privileged to realize/ be reminded of this. Kol Tov

It's your turn

So, I could keep talking about the random things that come to my mind, and I probably will. But if anyone ever had anything to share, just let me know in a comment and I'll make it a post. As well, if there are topics that people find interesting that they'd like me to bring up and talk about, we could do that too. The whole point of this blog is to keep up focused on the Torah and mitzvout, now that we're no longer in-rolled in a Bais Yaakov school. We, as least I, don't have a structured learning schedule where we/I learn every day, so this is meant to keep us/ me on track as we progress through life and the year. Kol Tov. thanks

Princess of Light

That's what we are. That's our job in this world, as the daughters of Hashem, we're supposed to bring light into this world. How do we do this? By making things kadosh (ei: doing mitzvout) we elivate the physical things of this world and make them "light" and kadosh.

I just thought i'd give us all chizuck to keep doing what we are doing and making brachout and working on our middout, and being the best princesses we can be!

Parshat Shlach

Shlach (Numbers 13-15)
Of Ants and Grasshoppers
By Rabbi Aba Wagensberg

"Greetings from the holy city of Jerusalem!

In this week's portion, Moses sends spies to scout the Land of Israel, and they return with a negative report about the land. They say, "The people who live in the Land are such giants that we appeared to be like grasshoppers in their eyes!" (Numbers 13:33). Rashi explains that the Spies overheard the giants saying, "There are ants in the vineyard that look like people."

Many commentators grapple with Rashi's inconsistency in quoting the verse. If the Torah explicitly likens the Spies to grasshoppers, then Rashi should have said that the Spies overheard the giants saying, "There are grasshoppers in the vineyard," not ants!

We can offer a novel approach in understanding this apparent inconsistency based on the words of the Tiferet Shmuel (vol. II). In the Book of Proverbs (6:6), King Solomon advises the lazy person to go and observe the ant. The Midrash (Yalkut Shemoni, Proverbs 938) explains that the ant spends the entire summer gathering kernels of wheat, barley, and beans. In one anthill that was once unearthed, 300 kur - a staggering amount - of surplus grain was discovered. Yet the ant only lives for six months, during which time it is only capable of consuming a kernel and a half of wheat! Why does the ant gather vastly more food than it is capable of consuming?

According to the Midrash, the ant says to itself, "Perhaps God will decree long life for me, and I will be prepared." From here we see that the fundamental characteristic of an ant is that of preparation and saving for the future. King Solomon therefore tells the lazy person to observe the ant, so that he too can learn to prepare in this world for the Next World. This teaches us the importance of saving and preparing in this world for our eternity.

The grasshopper, however, is the antithesis of the ant. The grasshopper is related to the locust, which, instead of saving its food for the future, is constantly involved in eating, in the present. Thus, the grasshopper is symbolic of those who think only of the here and now, materialistically. This is why the verse in this week's portion refers to grasshoppers.

The spies called themselves grasshoppers! These spies were the 10 out of 12 whom the Talmud (Sotah 34a) teaches were carrying the physical fruits of the Land of Israel. Like the grasshopper, they were focused on this world - the materialistic qualities of the present.

Based on this understanding, Rashi's comment about ants does not contradict the verse in the Torah; rather, it is referring to the remaining two spies, Joshua and Calev, who the Talmud teaches were not carrying the physical fruits of the Land. Joshua and Calev were interested in how the spiritual properties of the Land of Israel could help facilitate their eternal existence.

May we all be blessed to view the world through the eyes of the ant. This will change the style of our lives into one where every act, word and thought will be performed with a consideration of our spiritual eternity. "

to expound on the message above:
i wanted to mention that as Jews we are always looking to the future, or should be. Seeing how our actions NOW will affect ourselves and others in the FUTURE. this perspective allows us to act properly, the way HaShem wants us to.

Shabbat sholm. Kol tov

It isn't always as it seems

Today in psych class, before a skit was preformed, the teacher privately gave six people individual rules that they were to preform infront of the class. Later the class rated these people and tried to pick who they were, out of a list of six disciptions. One of the categories was mentally ill. four out of six of the 'actors' had SOME votes suggesting that they were pretending to be a mentally ill person.
At the end of the skit the teacher explained that there WAS no mentally ill rule. However, when observ other people we assume that they're acting 'strange' becuase we don't know the WHOLE sitauation. We can't see into their heads and understand why there are behaving in certain ways.
This is a point that is constantly mentioned to us, that we should judge a person favourably. I wanted to repeat this fact. I wanted to remind myself and you that there are many things going on in everyone's life, just as many as are occuring during OUR life and day. We need to realize that we DON"T see the big picture and that that's OK. But, it's not a licence for us to mis judge someone negatively and think that they're "off" becuase WE don't understand why he.she. is acting that way.
Have a good night/day.

It's Raining...

I love the rain.

Tonight i was walking home from my chavursa's house, after learning and davening a nice mincha at her house, and it started a summer sprinkle.

This sprinkle made me want to sing. So i started to hum, quietly to myself, as i walked home.

Unfortunitely my house is only a ten minute walk from my chavrusa's, so the rain was short lived.

Now, as i sit here about to go to bed, i can still her the pitter patter of the rain on the side walk by my window. And i'm thinking about how wonderful rain is, and how much of a gift it is from HaShem. Instead of flooding the world with water HaShem all at the same time, He gives us little showers.

So too, instead of punishing us all at once He gives us little zaps. anyhoo. i'm falling asleep...

Come one come all

A new and exciting blog!

My friend and I will be combining our efferts to produce a story blog. This blog will feature a stories that you can read and enjoy. They will probably continue with a new post every week.

Some come check it out and get your daily entertainment for free.

(Thanks for your support.)

Our Stories

Our World

It is time.
I know that I haven't posted for a week and I feel very guilty, but it was yom tov and shabbat and i really had no time.
As of now, I am finished my Psych midterm,
only three left for the semester,
and i must say that i did well. I haven't gotten my grade yet,
but i feel good about the test.

I'm gonna try to finish a certain amount of hw today and put a proper post up as a reward to myself. But until then...

I thought I'd find a picture and relate it to our life. I found this under 'our world' and got thinking.

If we are the the beni bechira that H' chose to represent Him in this world and create a makom for Him to dwell in, then we have a lot of responsibility and zechus.

We are fortunate to be the one's whose actions represent the Creator of the world.

Let us remember what our job is and how we can use our time in the world to do what we were each, individually, sent to do.

Though we all need to bring H' into this world and make for Him a makom, each one of us is supposed to do it in a spacial way. No one else can create the same kind of makom that we can, only us.

It's up to us as a collective group and as individuals.

We're so fortunate to have that honour!

http://www.masternewmedia.org/images/empty_gasoline_id272604_size500o.jpg

Still got a cold

Still have a runny nose

Parshat Naso

This weeks parsha is Naso. I am supposed to be giving a class on shabbat. This is the topic that I've chosen. I still have a few questions that i need to ask but this is the general idea:

This weeks parsha talks about many different mitzvout and ideas. The ones that i want to focus on are the issues regarding Tzaraas and Tamei Mes.
There are a few questions that came to my mind when i read the pasuking and rashim.
One.) what is the connection between these two situations. If we look at the decrees dealing with the two type of people, a metzora of tumei mes person, we find that both are sent out of the entire camp of Benei Yisroel for an extended period of time.

Second.) what is it with the physical touch of a dead person that causes both man and women alike to become impure? How does death cause this kind of impurity that requires the removal of any person in contact with it to be removed from the rest of the klal?

In regards to the mes, i have been able to start to answer my question.

It is understood that naturally the physical of man must die. Why, because that part of a human is from the world we live in and has an expiry date on it, just like everything else in this world.

The spiritual part of man, the neshma, however, comes from Hashem and it, therefore, is eternal and infinite. This part of man, I believe, lives on forever.

We also know that man was created to live forever. However, this was altered when Adom preformed a sin, distancing himself from his creature, and caused death to come into the world. This distancing lengthened the connection that man had from his eternal source, Hashem, thuse causing him , man, to be 'worthy' for death.

When we recieved the Torah Klal Yisroel was returned to this state of perfection, and death was removed from the world again. However, only 40 days later Benei Yisroel created the aigel and returned the death into the world again.

So here i have come to understand that Death represents the distance between us and our creature. Because we only experience death in this olam because of our sins, which bring the malach hamaves back in control and, distance ourselves from our eternal source, Hashem. The spark that is inside us which connects ourselves to Hashem

And then i get confused, because if death is the result of our sins then a.) why is the next step olam haba? a place where we get to e closer to Hashem? is it because, although we are closer to Hashem then we are supposed to attain a certain amount of kadusha in this world? and that after when leave we can't change our 'status' in onlam haba? b.) why to tzadikim die?

I think that this is a very complex idea and I'm worried that i decided to speak about something too deep. I'll check back with you on how things go. I'm gonna ask Rabbi Meltzer and/or his wife.

Furthermore, i was unable to come up with a drasha that connected the two, tzaraas and mes, though I'm sure that if i gave it some more thought I'd be able to figure it out.

Well this is it for now. All comments are welcome, as usual, though I don't know when is the next time I'll have access to the Internet. Be well everyone, an I'm sorry if i confused anyone unneedingly.

Now Presenting

I want to apologize to everyone.

I meant to post something about rosh chodesh Sivan but the computer i had access to didn't let me sign in to my dashboard and post. So I'm really sorry. I hope it's understood that i meant to.

As of now I'm going to go work on a shiur that I'm giving on shabbat. When i finish i plan to post a summary of that shiur and share it with you.

It happens to be that shevuot is a special chag for my cause my name is Sarah Rut and we read Rut on shevout. So, I'll try to add something about Rut as well. Looking forward to posting later. Hang on there, be well.

My reward!

YAH! As a reward to myself for finishing ten pages of the chapter in psyc, i made these meezes. I hope you all enjoy them and don't get too worried about me after veiwing them ;-)
These are some immitations of the poeple i've seen at school. B"H they are all not like this. I just find it interesting to see what colours people like to make their hair colour change into!

And here is a princess with her friend dragon out to save her kingdom. I posted this before but it needed to be deleted. So this is for SEP, who didn't get to analize her yet.


And then we have some recreational activities that i miss doing so much!


To enlarge any of these pictures just click on them and a new box will open. I hope i didn't scare anyone.

My Meez fun

From left to right:

Here i am reading. I feel like reading books can take me anywhere and allow me to escape the annoying people around me. They're not ALWAYS annoying but sometimes i need a break

The tire swing. I miss being on swings and playing on playgrounds. those were the fun days when i was a kid and went down slides

Next is the corpse bride coming back from the dead. i hope that no one i know saw the movie 'crops bride" it's Farley new and funny. It's a cute kids movie where.

And then we have Harmonie, i know i 'm spelling her name wrong. This is how i picture her in my mind's eye.

Now, since I've spent WAY too much time on line today and posting and having fun, I'm gonna take a long break from the Internet. I hope i didn't overwhelm anyone and that everyone has a great shabbat. Be well and enjoy my obsession while it lasts ;-)

Aren't you glad i'm not your boss!

Just something nice

I was googling and found these Pictures. I really liked them and saved them onto my computer. In honour of one of my friends, I am posting them. I know that you will enjoy them so i wanted to share them with you. This is supposed to be a blood elf. I suppose he's a leader of some sort, masterful and flowing with power. The orb in his hand, i would assume, is an example of his power, though i know not what he's going to use it for ;-)
I really liked this one. Here is a lil' girl sitting on the edge of a pond. I wonder what she sees in the reflection of herself? I is she perceiving something beyond herself entirely?

In another realm, we each hold within ourselves an orb or power and strength, given to us but HaKadosh Baruchhu. We're lucky to be among the few in this world to receive this gift in our life time. I hope that we use this koach to guide ourselves and others further towards proper avodat HaShem. We can utilize it in perceiving our goals and actions; furthermore, to help us see what is expected of us, individually and as a whole, to be preformed on this world.

I hope that you're all enjoying my randomness. Have a great day and please don't leave without putting up a comment. Thank you

Skateboarder

Wouldn't it be fun to just got skateboarding through the park? if only i coujld skateboard... which i can, though i've tried, master in a skirt

Sorry

Sorry everyone for the mix up. I'm having technical difficulty. Thank you SEP for bringing it to my attention. I hope to be able to solve the problem shortly. sit tight everyone

One more, i hope you're not too bored by now?

This one is the most prevelant, so far. I wish i had the variety shown here reflected in my own wardrob, but I'm not THIS classy looking. Though i do like this pic a lot. I hope you guys have enjoyed my random posting today. hopefully I'll obstain for the next lil' while. all the best

coffee break

As usual, I'm having coffee. It's a constant beverage for me. I found that i really enjoy it. I've gotten to the point where i prefer different brews. Ops, maybe I'm drinking too much ?

If i could, maybe i would?

If i were not frum and was not not privliged to the understanding that i have now, i would go bikeriding. So here i am, doing something that i haven't done for at leat 5 yaers. Boy do i miss it.

Sefardi Torah

I just thought i'd share with you what a sefardi torah looks like. we have a really nice one in our shul that's made of silver, like this one. anyway, enjoy. Those of you who are coming ;-) are going to see it up close, well from the belcony.

A Break From College

I didn't realize how involved I am with the goyim until i stopped going to campus for the past week and a half. Since I've off for the next lil' bit, my semester ended early, I haven't been to the mall that's right by my school and i haven't really seen any of the 'new' styles and dress forms.
Then i walked into the mall on Sunday and was happy to find myself repulsed by the concentration of shemutz- or tuma. I was relieved to find that I'm still sensitive to that kind of stuff, after being away from it for only a week. B"H that I'm a Jew with my head on strait. I hope that we'll all be zochei to continue to have clarity in seeing what we should give importance to and what we should completely ignore. (Like crazy fashion and showing skin.)
Be well everyone. All the best.

Summer is coming

This is for SEP

The summer is quickly approaching. Are we ready to protect ourselves against the internal wars that are bound to jump within us?

I find that the summer is a time when the yetzar hara tries very hard to grab us. The weather is warm, or hot. Schools are closed. People are usually out and free, having a good time. I see it as a period where lust is increased and skin is flaunted, the protection of winter air leaves.

I don't want to leave my house. Not because it's hot and I'm wearing my long skirt and long sleeve shirt. But because of the sights that jump out at me in the street disturbs me and cause me great discomfort.

(I'm a girl and i can't imagine what affect the atmosphere has on guys. :-( )

So i feel like i must protect myself before the summer comes. I know that it's gonna come and that there are things that i can and must to do guard myself against the yetzar haras planned attack.

I think that it's necessary for me to do something extra. What ever small thing i decide to add will be done every day, and therefore stand as a constant reminder that it's the summer and i need to be extra careful. It doesn't have to be anything big. Something that makes a big enough difference in my day, just by doing it, to stand as a reminder.

That is what i hope to do to protect and guard myself against the summer. There are many enticing things that pop up. Like going down to one of the many beaches i have near my house or bike riding along the sea wall. I'm sure that everyone has their own tivout that spring up, as well, when more leisure time is added to their day. I hope that H' will help us to be matzliach in protecting ourselves and growing during this frightening time.

I miss music

I'm sitting here at the computer and i REALLY wanna tune in and listen to my music. BUT.... it's sefira and I CAN"T. I didn't even bring my ear buds with me cause they're attached to my mp3, which only have 'real' music on it so i don't cary it around with me.

I'm feeling the affects, of lack of, that music has. I just thought i'd remind everyone that it is a big influence in our behavior, throughts, and actions. That is why it's VERY important that people are careful with what they allow themselves to listen to. B'h, as least i have acapela when i get home.

I hope everyone's faring well. Good luck singing on qui!

Rosh Chodesh Iyar.

It's coming soon., Tuesday night.
It is known that Nissan is a zeman for geula because this is when we were taken out of mitzriam. Lets define that term geula, revelation:

1. Depending on ones situation, geula can be understood as the removal from a 'bad' situation to a 'good' situation. As in, one is physically taken out of a negative situation and 'redeemed'.
2. Geula can mean clarity or 'ciata d'shmia'- Divine assistance that enhances clarity of a situation or 'reveals' to a person how the person should react to the given situation.
3. Geula can be interpreted as the verb to overcome. When one has passed a test in life or overcome a challenge.

These are a few of the definitions that come to my mind when i think about geula and it's affect on my life. Regardless on your interpretation of the word, Nissan is a chance for us to grow and overcome a lot of the difficulties present in you life. We have just a bit longer until this immense Koach departs and we are greeted by the month of Yyar. Until then we should try to use this zeman to improve our service to HaShem.

I wish us hatzlach in the refinary of our tefila and personal midout during this time and the continuous future. May our teffilot be answered to allow us to be zochei geula!

Sefirat Homer

Hello. I hope that everyone is doing well and who ever is taking exams or midterms does well and remembers all the necessary information during the examination. I'd like to talk about sefirat haomer.
It was just last week when we finished pessach and continued counting the sefira. To me, it seems as though there was higher spiritual potential during pessach then there is now. Unlike most, i felt down after pessach as a result of this shift. I know I'm wrong in this prospective and I'll explain myself below.
We are told that during pessach haShem gives us the ability to leap madregot/spiritual levels/ regardless of our previous position on the ladder. Just as He "skipped" over us in mitzraim and only killed the first born mitzrim, so too does He NOW gives us the ability to jump, once again, while He holds our hand.
But there's a catch in the system. Because it's compulsory that we have stable footing that is strong enough to maintain our position on the ladder, we must go back during sefira and fill the gap we just jumped over. We need to make sure that everything up to level x was accomplished and we are now strong enough to remain on level x and keep moving upward.
For example: One didn't have the will power to start keeping shabbat and during pessach he resolved to start and it is because haShem is holding him up that he is able to maintain that level of observance, even though he's not spiritually ready. Once pessach ends haShem SLOWLY puts the person down and he or she is supposed to work on attaining the level that was jumped to during pessach.
I hope I'm making myself clear. There's another positive result of this ''jumping session. If i see that i have done something once, then i believe that i can accomplish it again. So, if I've already kept shabbat a few times during pessach (this is just an example) then I'll have confidence that i can keep it again in the future. HaShem is giving us this confidence to reach new levels by showing us that WE HAVE and CAN continue to maintain that level of kadusha.
It is our responsibility to work on ourselves and take this opportunity that haShem is giving us leap and bound forward. HaShem has carefully mapped out this time period of sefira, showing us what can be worked on when and how much can be accomplish but putting one foot in front of the other. Baby steps is all it takes.
OK, be well and i hope you enjoyed and that i was clear enough in my explanation. If there are any questions or comments PLEASE post and i will respond or try to clarify my words. Good luck.

Fasten Your Seatbelt and WAIT

I regretably admit that until Monday i was will be COMOPLETELY unavailible. Until 1pm on that day i will be studying and taking exams. After that time i plan to write a very nice post ( or a few posts) about freedom or the omer, or anything. I hope that you can wait until then cuase i GOT GO STUDY. Wish me luck. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

http://www.everythingcarz.com/images/Mustang_Orange_Flame_Seatbelt_Belt.jpg

But don't just sit in the rain either. (Though i'd love to since i love rain.) "the sun will come out...." just not tomorrow.

http://www.area-56.de/chapter56/uploaded_images/sp_0368_waiting_for_the_sun-761881.jpg

I love this pic, it makes me want to splash in puddles. Though I don't know why he's so upset. I LOVE the rain. That's why i came back to Vancouver ;-)

Ok I"M ramboling. Be well everyone and hold on tight! Cause when I'll start posting again there might be a flood.

(Very ambiguous statment there :P)

Freedom

http://www.desktop-meditation.com/images/meditate-on-freedom.jpg

Freedom. The word means many different things to many different people. But for us, during pessach, the definition narrows down. I think of two main definitions during pessach.

1. A time where we should unlatch our previuos sins from our present actions. When we should no longer do what has become a bad habit. We have the ability to disassociate ourselves with our past middeeds and concentraite ONLY on the good.
2. Freedom from the goyim. It is a time when HaShem WANTS us to be separate from the goyim and HIS nation. We are ment to act and think as HE wants us to . Not in accordance with the goyims perspectives and ideals.
3. ( I know is said two but here's a thrid) The ablity to JUMP. Sefirat haomer has started and we're able to jump as high as we want antil pessach ends and then work our way up there, step by step, during the rest of sefira.

Maybe i should write a newpaper called:

http://www.anarkismo.net/attachments/aug2006/freedom.gif

ops, someone has already ;-)

http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/27486/2/istockphoto_27486_freedom.jpg

We aren't stuck and locked behind our habits. We have the ability to change and be who we're supposed to be. Every situation that we find ourselves in allows us to work on this and come out closer to our goal.

Especially during pessach and sefira, we're given the gift of BECOMING the reflection we see in the distant past. The person we HOPE to be in the FUTURE. We can become that person today, now. We have the ablility to try on those positive behaviors that didn't fit last year. We can start shedding our ragged clothing for royal garments that belong to the princesses we truely are.

It is not only a time for anti chametz inthe physical sence:

http://www.weirdnewstoday.com/uploaded_images/fruitcake-freedom-725886.jpg

Or and opertunity to lose or gain weight. We are supposed to reflect the physical to the spiritual and internalize the process as food for our neshama.

I know I haven't been very clear, since these ideas are very broad and abstract in my mind. I appologize and ask that and quiestions be made in the comment box. Thanks. I hope you were able to read inbetween my words and understand what i'm really trying to say.